Tag to Threads. Sam and Jack take a little stroll up at his cabin…and begin a new phase in their relationship. Written for challenge #4 at stargateland—prompt: new.

don’t own… wish I did, but I don’t. No infringement intended.

There was a cool breeze blowing in from the North. It rustled leaves and fluttered Carter’s hair. He glanced sideways at her as they walked, following the mostly overgrown path around his pond. Her face was scrunched up in thought, her brow knit together, nose wrinkled. She looked adorable.

For the first time Jack didn’t avoid the thought. He continued to stare unabashed, letting the warm feelings rush over him. Things were so new, so full of potential. But Carter was still grieving, her soul raw with emotion. She kept trying to hide it and Jack was willing to give her that freedom for now. He wouldn’t push because he knew she’d eventually talk to him. They had wordlessly agreed to that as they arrived at the cabin days ago.

Carter suddenly glanced up at him, her face schooled but tense. He smiled easily at her. If he squinted and didn’t think about it he could swear they were off world—somewhere across the galaxy—taking a leisurely stroll around the perimeter of whatever ruin Daniel was investigating. Slowly a grin replaced the tension on Carter’s face. Jack relaxed more.

“I can see why you like to come out here,” she finally said.

Jack watched the wind whip her hair around her face. She batted absently at it, turning to look out over the pond.

“It’s much better now,” he replied after a moment. He watched the blush creep up the back of her neck. She refused to look at him as they began walking again. They continued in silence for a long while, both apparently lost in thought. Jack tried not to consider what Carter was thinking about—whatever it was would probably make his head explode. He knew in a few days things would change drastically. He’d put in for retirement and then…

He wasn’t really sure what would happen then. But this was the beginning of something more. He was sure of that. The fact that Carter had agreed so easily to come to Minnesota was proof in his mind. Although that hadn’t stopped him from being surprised when he asked her after the funeral. He smiled at the memory.

As the path narrowed he let his hand brush against hers. She didn’t pull away like before. Another sign things were changing. An electrical charge ran up his arm and down his spine causing him to shiver slightly. Carter didn’t seem to notice. He let his fingers intertwine with hers, his thumb sliding over the back of her hand. The touch was soft, tentative. From both sides. So new. But Jack liked it. He had been hoping for this moment for so long.

They walked on, hands together until they broke free of the treeline, his cabin in the distance. No one was around, the guys having gone into town earlier but they instinctively released their grip on each other. They’d work on that a little later, he thought as he guided her up to the small house.

She smiled softly when he opened the door for her. Jack took a deep, steadying breath before following her in. The whole thing was going to take some getting used to. And he couldn’t wait.

Some missions don’t go as well as you hope but SG-1 has a knack for getting out of trouble by the skin of their teeth. Title from a Shania Twain song.

don’t own… wish I did, but I don’t. No infringement intended.

So much blood. It was everywhere—caking to her skin, sliding under her knees, soaking into her pants.

“Hang on sir,” she shouted over the noise of the battle behind her. She knew he couldn’t hear her. Thankfully, he had lost consciousness already. Sam pulled another compression bandage from her pack and opened it with a flick of her wrist. She tried not to look at the growing red bloom on the already applied gauze as she moved her hand. So much blood.

She did her best to keep the flow under control, using her body weight to put pressure on the wound in the colonel’s abdomen. Her arms ached with the effort, and she was vaguely aware that she had also been shot, a burning pain running across her right side that she ignored. Along with the tears streaming down her face. There was just too much blood.

“Incoming!” someone screamed in the distance.

At the same moment Daniel appeared in the trench next to her. He pushed her down covering her and the colonel with his own body. The ground shook, dirt and debris raining down on them. Sam felt the blood building under her hands again, the slickness turning to a sticky mess between her fingers.

Daniel wiped dirt and sweat from his face before reaching over with shaky hands to check the colonel’s pulse. “Thready,” he mumbled. “You okay?”

Sam realized belatedly that Daniel was staring at her, a look of concern on his dirt covered face. Sam nodded—he didn’t need to know about her own injury. The shouting and explosions continued around them, a blur of noise and color to Sam. She focused on the man in front of her, his face ashen as the blood flowed from his body.

“Hang on,” she murmured again, hurrying to apply another bandage. A soft hiss caught her attention and when she looked up she locked eyes with her CO.

“How goes the war?” His voice was barely a whisper.

Sam smiled in relief. He still had his sense of humor—that was a good sign. “You’ve been shot, sir.”

“Ya think?”

“Reynolds has almost retaken the gate. We’ll be getting you out of here soon.” She tried to give him a reassuring look.

His lips twisted up in a half smile. “‘Kay.”

Sam grinned for real at that. “Just hang on, sir.”

“Hanging on. Roger,” he slurred, his hand coming up to wipe away the tears on Sam’s face. His palm pressed into her cheek, his thumb rubbing softly along the corner of her mouth. His touch was weak but she let herself lean into it, relishing the feel of his fingers on her skin.

Sam couldn’t do anything but stare into his eyes, his fingers sending a surge of warmth through her body. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way—the chaos around them fading in her mind, leaving just the two of them. It wasn’t until Daniel tapped her on the shoulder that reality came crashing in. The colonel pulled his gaze away, his hand falling to his side. Sam saw the medics cresting the hill. She glanced back at the colonel as his eyes rolled back in his head. He was going to make it.

Boredom Buster of Galactic Proportions
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
Stargate SG-1/Farscape
gen (sort of John/Aeryn)
517 words
rating: PG
WARNINGS: cracky crossover

Missions have gotten kind of boring since the defeat of the Ori but SG-1 has finally gated to a planet that offers something interesting to ponder.

don’t own… wish I did, but I don’t. No infringement intended.
The planet they gated to looked like just about every other planet. Daniel sighed. He had to admit the thrill of adventure was waning even for him. With the Ori defeated, the Goa’uld all dead—except for maybe Ba’al because you could never tell with that guy—and peace reigning in the galaxy things were just getting…

“Boring.” Daniel glanced over at Vala who stood next to the DHD, her hands on her hips. “A snooze fest. A snore.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Cam told her.

“Of course I am.”

The colonel rolled his eyes. “Well knock it off.”

“Like that’s going to work.”

Cam groaned, moving away from the group. Vala followed after him, her complaints never ceasing.

Daniel sighed. For once he agreed with Vala. Things were so boring. He glanced around for anything out of the ordinary. Right now he wouldn’t even mind someone shooting at them. As if on cue the brush next to him rustled. His hand automatically went to his sidearm just as a small child burst from the undergrowth. He barreled headlong into Daniel, knocking him to the ground.

“Whoa there,” Cam said, coming up behind Daniel. “Where’d you come from?” The small boy, no more than six or seven years old with big blue eyes and tussled brown hair, looked with wide-eyed confusion at the military man; his mouth working but no words coming out.

Vala joined the group. “Well, at least this is something interesting. Daniel’s on his butt again.”

Daniel frowned as he scrambled to his feet. He noticed the kid looking even more freaked out as he stared at their female team member.

“Hey, kid,” Cam called as the boy backed towards the woods, “maybe you can tell us-”

From the forest another voice rang out. “D’Argo, where in the hell-” A figure dressed in black leather stumbled from the treeline, coming to a halt next to the kid. “What did I tell you about running off,” he began to scold without looking up.

Daniel’s mouth dropped open even as his eyes slid from the new person back to the colonel. Cam had a similar look of shock on his face. A glance at Vala and Teal’c reassured him that he wasn’t seeing things or having a stroke. Finally the man looked up at the rest of SG-1.

“Sorry about that, I hope he…” He trailed off, staring in the same fascinated horror as the rest of them.

“John!” Daniel recognized that voice. Next to him Vala stiffened. A familiar face fell in next to the boy and man. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she looked more serious but there was no mistaking her.

“It’s me,” Vala whispered. “And him. And this is so…”

“Not boring?” Daniel asked with a smirk. He couldn’t wait to get back to the SGC and give his report on this one. For once Vala was rendered nearly speechless and Cam still had the deer-in-headlights look on his face as they stared back at their doppelgangers. Maybe this planet wasn’t so boring after all.

Happiness Is a Lie
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
Stargate SG-1
Jack/Sam
1813 words
rating: PG
WARNINGS: spoilers for season 7 and 8

Nothing was right about the situation. And nothing would ever be right again. Sam/Jack angst set in season 8. Sam’s engaged to Pete and they will both have to learn to deal with that.

don’t own… wish I did, but I don’t. No infringement intended.

The ring fitted her finger perfectly. Too bad it belonged to another man. Jack felt his throat close up as the sun glinted off the diamond. It took all his willpower to pull his gaze away before Carter looked up, a nervous smile playing across her lips.

“Can I get you another beer, sir?”

Jack swallowed hard, his voice escaping him. His eyes landed on her face but remained unfocused. He didn’t want to see the look she was giving him…sympathy, pity, regret.

“Sir?” she asked again, her voice more hesitant this time. God, he wanted to be anywhere but here—in Carter’s back yard having a bar-b-que to announce her engagement. Pete was around somewhere, too. Jack faintly remembered him dragging Teal’c inside to look at something.

He took a deep breath. “Yeah, sure,” he said with more gusto than he actually felt. She smiled softly at him then skirted past into the house. Jack let out the breath as he ran a hand through his hair. A second later the screen door snapped shut again causing his heart to momentarily race, but it was Daniel that came up along side him.

“You okay?”

Jack sighed. “I’m fine, Daniel, so drop it.”

The younger man stood there with his fingers tangled around a half-filled beer, each thumb taking a turn sliding across the top. Jack grimaced. Daniel had more to say and he knew from experience there was no stopping him.

Daniel brought the beer up to his lips but never actually took a sip before lowering it back to the railing of the deck. “This is wrong,” he said softly.

“Yeah.” Jack’s words had Daniel’s head snapping up. “The way you waste beer is a damn shame.” He pulled the bottle from his grip and chugged it, his stomach protesting the onslaught.

Daniel frowned. “Jack-”

“I said to drop it.”

“Drop what?”

Jack felt every nerve ending fire at once as he spun around to find Carter standing in the door with a fresh beer in one hand—the one with the ring. Jack’s eyes were drawn to it like a moth to the flame.

“Uh, nothing,” Daniel muttered. The tension was so thick it made Jack’s skin crawl.

“Okay,” she said slowly, coming fully out onto the deck and letting the door slam behind her.

Daniel shifted his weight from foot to foot like he was considering making a run for it. Jack thought he had the right idea. He opened his mouth to say something but voices from inside cut him off.

“-and you wouldn’t believe the mess—feathers everywhere, men in dresses running every which way, kids squealing, ice cream on everything.”

“Indeed.”

The door banged open again as Teal’c and Pete exited the house. “What’s going on, Babe?” Pete asked as he threw a possessive arm over Carter’s shoulder, snagging Jack’s still untouched beer from her hand.

Jack tried to ignore the way the cop smirked around the bottle as he took a long swig. Or the way Carter tried to shrug off the weight. Or the way she flinched when he called her, “Babe.” He felt his face flush with anger, an urge to hit something nearly overwhelming him.

“Nothing,” Carter murmured, her eyes darting around but not resting on any one thing for long. Pete adjusted the position of his arm so that his fingers rubbed absently along her neck. She closed her eyes and Jack could see her taking long, controlled breaths.

“Looks kind of like something,” Pete continued, pushing the topic—he was obviously drunk. His eyes narrowed on Jack who just stared back with his blankest look.

“Uh-” Daniel started to say, always the diplomat.

“Really, it was nothing,” Sam interrupted him, smiling up at her fiance.

Jack felt sick. “That’s my beer.” He hadn’t meant to actually say it. The look on Carter’s face had him flushing with a touch of shame. Daniel’s mouth dropped open. Pete glared at him then glanced at the bottle in his hand. He leaned forward and opened his mouth to say something, a dangerous look overtaking his normally placid face, but Teal’c interrupted.

“Perhaps Daniel Jackson would be interested in hearing of your humorous case, Detective Shanahan.”

Pete’s eyes slid from Jack over to the Jaffa then to Daniel. Jack could see the silent conversation pass between his two teammates before Daniel nodded.

“I’d love to hear it. Must have been crazy, huh?”

Teal’c gently guided Pete away from Carter and into the back yard. Daniel followed along, shooting Jack a menacing look over his shoulder. Jack sighed.

“I think I’m going to head out.” He didn’t wait for Carter to answer as he pushed past her into the house to grab his jacket. He got all the way to his truck before Carter caught up with him.

“Sir-”

“It’s fine, Carter, go enjoy your party.” He stared at the roof of the cab, his hand resting on the door handle. Neither of them moved. Jack closed his eyes, taking slow, deep breaths. He really should leave, he told himself.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Carter.

“For what?” The words were out before he realized what he was saying. He slowly turned to face her. The late afternoon sun glinted off of her golden hair, creating a halo effect around her face. She looked angelic. But, then, Sam Carter always looked beautiful. Jack fought back a grin.

She licked her lips slowly. “For everything.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Jack finally answered with a sigh. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Carter looked away. “We both know that’s not true.”

Jack swallowed hard. He was so used to playing their little game of denial that he didn’t know what to say to her bold confession. “Carter-”

When she looked back up he could see her fighting back tears. God, he hated to see her cry. Hated even more that he was the cause.

“I’m so sorry.”

Her hands covered her face, and Jack was crossing the space between them without even thinking. “This isn’t your fault,” he whispered into her hair as he pulled her close.

“Isn’t it?” she said into her hands. “It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t…”

Jack didn’t know what else to say. Silence enveloped them, the tension building, and Jack was very aware that Carter’s fiance was only a few yards away on the other side of the house. He pulled away from her, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s no one’s fault. Things just…” He sighed at the sad look on her face. “They just weren’t meant to be.”

Her lip quivered slightly but no tears escaped her eyes. She shook her head, dropping her gaze to the ground. Her hands had landed on his chest, resting casually on either side of his heart. He could feel the warmth through his sweater. His pulse quickened at the light touch, the closeness of her, the smell of her perfume she only wore off-duty. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat.

“Do you love him?” he finally asked, barely getting the words past his lips. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know the answer. His heart sped up as he waited for her to respond. Why did it have to be so hard? he wondered.

“Yes,” she finally said, her voice so soft he almost missed it.

“Then that’s all that counts.” He watched the emotions play across her face…confusion, uncertainty, regret. “I just want you to be happy.”

She looked up at him. “What about you?”

“I’ll survive,” he said with a crooked grin. “I always do.”

Carter frowned. “Jack-”

“I’ll be fine, Carter,” he interrupted, trying to ignore the way his stomach flipped at the use of his first name. “As long as you’re happy, I’ll be fine.”

The sad look didn’t leave her face. They both knew that was a lie. Jack would never be fine as long as Carter was married to that cop. He knew things were going to change between them. Nothing would ever be the same. Daniel had been right—this was so wrong. But there was nothing Jack could do about it. And they both knew that.

He took a deep breath before looking down at Carter again. She was biting her lip. Jack couldn’t help but grin at her anxious tic. It was so familiar, so Carter. He leaned his forehead against hers. “Just tell me you’re happy,” he whispered.

He felt Carter swallow, her fingers tightening around the fabric of his sweater. She nodded slowly. He could tell she was unsure but it would have to do. He wouldn’t call her on it. “Okay, then.” With that, he pulled completely away from her and dug in his pocket for his keys. He needed to get away—as far from her house as he could. Minnesota was calling to him, and he was already plotting some excuse for why he needed to take a week off.

He yanked the door open and glanced over it at Carter. She had one arm wrapped around her body, the other hand covered her mouth. Her eyes were shut tight and he knew she was fighting for control. It took every ounce of willpower to not run back to her. To not scoop her into his arms and beg her to run away with him. To not say to hell with the regulations.

“It’ll be okay, Carter,” he said instead, happy his voice stayed even and unemotional.

She opened her eyes and gave him a look that said nothing would ever be okay again but before Jack could respond voices drifted over from the side of the house.

“Babe, you out here?”

Jack grit his teeth, his hand tightening around his keys. Pete stepped out from the yard and stood there watching them. Carter shook herself, schooling her features.

“I’ll be in, in a sec,” she called, not looking back at him.

“You okay?” He took a step closer.

She swallowed hard. They’d never be okay. Jack knew it. Carter knew it. He felt an overwhelming sorrow descend over him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Her voice didn’t even waver but Jack could see the matching regret in her features. He nodded at her and climbed into the truck.

“See ya tomorrow, Carter,” he yelled over the roar of the engine starting up. He slammed the door before she could say anything else and nearly peeled out of the driveway, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard the knuckles turned white. He didn’t once glance into the rear view mirror. Things were never going to be right, he thought as he headed home. His heart beat painfully against the tightness in his chest and he rubbed at it. But nothing eased the hurt. He figured nothing ever would.

It still cracks me up that I’m walking to the store (a mile away) in the middle of November in just a hoodie.  People from the midwest and other cold states will understand…that’s unheard of back there.  By November you’re bundled up in layers, winter coat, boots, hats, mittens, scarves and you avoid walking anywhere if you can.

I just love the weather here.  Our town is on the edge of the foothills so if you drive north in town you start to go up.  We had school canceled 5 times last year because of snow up in the hills.  It rarely reaches down to the main part of town, though.  When we were driving home from Vancouver on Saturday we could see the highest hills around town were just covered in snow.  You could tell it had just fallen because everything was just white.  Mt. Hood has been dumped on.  We couldn’t see the peak but the rest of the mountain is completely white as are all the hills surrounding it.  Very pretty to see.  We just get rain.  But, luckily, it’s not a hard rain, just a yucky drizzle.

And then in the summer when everyone is dying of heat stroke it’s a pleasant 75F with no humidity here.  Except last summer when we had a horrible heat wave from the beginning of August until mid-Septemeber.  Weeks and weeks of upper 80s/low 90s which probably doesn’t sound like much to everyone out east or in the desert but we don’t have AC so it SUCKS.  Especially when we had days in a row where it was pushing 100F.  There’s nothing to do but sit under the fan drinking ice water and hoping it will pass.  But that was kind of a fluke (according to long time residents).

There are 3 fixed date stamps.  One is square with days, months and years (2000-2009), another only has months and days and the third is a wheel (with years 2000-2010).

I also included the separate circles of days, months and years from the wheel so you can combine them how you please.

Enjoy.

[originally published Nov 7, 2008]

It’s no secret that I’m a Sam/Jack shipper. It’s pretty obvious just by looking at my icons and list of stories. There’s just something about Jack and Sam that pulls me in and makes me get all gooey inside. I started watching SG-1 long after the series went off the air. I don’t really remember the first episode I watched but the next day they had a viewer’s choice marathon on so I got to see all the best episodes. Many of which were very shippy. And I just fell in love.

Colonel Jack O’Neill is the older, somewhat bitter and jaded commanding officer of SG-1. His life hasn’t always been easy. The loss of his son in an accident he blames on himself and subsequent divorce from his wife has left him a little withdrawn. He has absolutely no intention of starting a relationship, especially not with anyone under his command.

Sam Carter is a brilliant up and coming officer assigned to Jack’s team against his protest. She’s a scientist first and holds a somewhat awed, hero worship for Jack when they first meet which is quickly replaced by well-earned respect for his abilities as a military leader and as a man. She would never think to break the regulations regarding relationships between officers.

What I like best about Jack and Sam is that they are so very much alike in very different ways. They are both focused, determined, dedicated, loyal and honest…to the military, their friends and their principals. How those similarities manifest is completely different for each person. And despite that, they are both very, very different. Their interests and likes are in complete opposition to each other.

Yet, they work. Maybe it’s the “opposites attract” mentality or, maybe, it’s their underlying similarities that draw them together. Either way they make a great couple. They compliment each other and balance each other.

Neither started out with an intention of falling for the other. In fact they actively tried to avoid it but deep personal relationships tend to be forged during high stress situations and there’s nothing more high stress than what SG-1 does. They need each other whether they’d ever admit that to anyone, each other or even themselves.

The regulations may keep them apart physically but they will always love each other underneath and they’ve both recognized that over the years, grown together and forged ahead when they could.

And, they’re just so darn cute together:

…or the time, reality or universe

Jack and Sam are just meant to be.

+I have so much freaking laundry to do it’s not even funny.  This is what I get for having a nervous breakdown and refusing to do anything for weeks.  And no matter how many times I tell the kids to get ALL their laundry in the laundry room they never do it.  The clothes are piled two feet deep in there (it’s a tiny room) and I just glanced in their bedrooms and there are dirty clothes all over in both.  Sigh.  Not to mention me, hubby and Jack have already filled one of our baskets already.  All the towels are dirty thanks to the kids refusing to hang them up after using them (instead just tossing them in the baskets with their smelly clothes) and the sheets/blankets need to be washed.  I’m drowning in laundry and with a dryer that takes two hours to dry one load it just takes freaking forever.

+Hubby screwed up our car payment (well, actually screwed up his understanding of the payments) so we’re not going to have any extra money for Christmas.  I guess he had figured it all out on his own so that we’d have a few hundred to spend on the kids but then he found out we had a car payment due (he thought we were paid up until next year) this month.  Sigh.  He still thinks we can swing Christmas but I don’t see how.  We’ve barely bought groceries for months (just enough food to get us by eating crappy stuff) and we spent almost all of his last paycheck eating out because I felt so horrible I didn’t want to cook.  This paycheck is going towards Thanksgiving and that leaves the two paychecks in December (5th and 20th) to buy gifts as usual but almost all of the 5th check goes towards rent.  Our tax refund can’t get here fast enough and when it does come next year we’ll be able to pay off the truck and, hopefully, most if not all of our medical bills and hubby’s credit card bill (that I fought him getting…we had enough issues with credit before, ugh).  When the medical bills, truck and credit card are fully paid off we will officially be debt free.  Of course, we had to declare bankruptcy to get here but it still feels good.

+I pulled a muscle in my back this morning.  I wasn’t even doing anything, just sitting here reading something online.  I must have twisted weird in the chair because I felt this twinge and now it hurts.  Right below my left shoulder blade.  Hurts to sit up straight, to lift my left arm, to reach for stuff, bend over, pick up Jack.  Ugh.  It’s not super bad, I’ve had much worse strains/sprains but it still sucks and will keep me from doing all the stuff I needed to do today.

+Starting to freak out over Thanksgiving.  I like to cook a huge meal even though it’s just us and the kids (although I invited my brother, he never answered my text, though).  It’s just we don’t even have all the food for it yet and it’s only three days away.  We have the turkey which we got already thawed (which was good because we bought it yesterday and I don’t think it would have been thawed by Thursday otherwise) and decided to go with canned sweet potatoes because I’m not sure I’ll have the energy to cook, peel and mash my own.  I don’t even like sweet potatoes.  We’re also buying the desserts again this year so I don’t have to do a ton of baking ahead of time.  Especially since I’m making the turkey in the oven this year.  Last year I did it in the slow cooker but we only had a 10lb turkey (about the max that will fit in the cooker).  This year we got a 20lb so we’d have lots and lots of leftovers (either to keep eating all week or to freeze).  That means I have to do the sweet potatoes and baked beans and green bean casserole or whatever else needs baking on Wednesday.  I miss my dad’s double oven he had.  My brain is fried on planning the cooking…just like every year.

+Watched Cars 2 the other night.  It was cute.  The first one was better but it was still funny.  The first Cars movie is probably my favorite Pixar movie of all time.  I just loved the sentiment behind it and the look of it was fantastic.  Cars 2 was just as good with the animation.  Even my husband commented on the how the physics of the cars looked so real.  And he was cracking up over Darryl Cartrip (we’re big NASCAR fans).  It’s the first time we’ve sat down as a family to watch a movie in a long time.  Which is mainly my fault because over the years I’ve just stopped doing it.  He’ll watch things with the kids or they’ll watch new movies together but I’d rarely join them because I so desperately needed a break from them.  But I wanted to get back to the way we used to do things as a family.  We always watched new releases together.  I think this weekend we’ll watch the last Harry Potter movie.  We got it the day after it came out and the kids sort of watched it at Brenna’s birthday party but I don’t think any of them were paying attention.

+Haven’t been watching my weight since my breakdown and was commenting to my husband last night as I was stuffing my face with a TRIPLE Whopper (ugh) that I had gained it all back and felt crappy about that.  Especially after how hard I worked to get it down to where it had been.  So he weighed me last night (after eating the burger and a large fries and everything else I ate all day) and I was only about 238lbs.  This morning I was somewhere between 230 and 235lbs before eating anything.  So I haven’t gained anything despite pigging out on chips and junk food and high-fat crap for two weeks.  Weird.  It’s not like I’ve been exercising or anything either.  The only time that ever happens to me is when I’m pregnant (I gain almost nothing when pregnant and with Jack the total was like 12lbs).  But I’m not pregnant.  I’ve had my tubes tied and AF has shown up faithfully every month since he was born (just had it last week, in fact).  I guess my body is getting used to things AND I think I’m subconsciously still watching what I eat.  If there’s an option to choose something low fat I tend to do that without thinking now and my portions have gotten smaller.  It’s become second nature to judge what I’m eating and if it’s high cal/fat I’ll eat less of it and fill up on the healthier stuff (like veggies).  Good, no?  I think I’m going to keep going like this through the holidays and then get back on track in January.

+I cleaned the fridge on Saturday.  I mean scrubbed it all out.  It was so gross.  I’m very lazy about cleaning stuff I can’t see all the time.  The mess in the rest of the kitchen gets cleaned every day because I see it constantly but I’m only in the fridge for a few minutes at a time a few times a day.  So I ignore the ickiness of it.  I finally couldn’t take it any more and since there’s almost no food in there it was a perfect time to clean it out.  It’s all nice and neat and smells like bleach.  My soul is happy for this.

+If you want a Christmas card from me you can leave your name and address here.  Or just PM me.  I probably can’t send to addresses outside of the US and Canada this year because we’re broke. 

+writerverse officially starts on December 1.  That’s just a week and a half away.  If you like writing and want a little challenge to push your creativity or to learn about writing or improve your writing come on over.  We’ve got one challenge going on already (pimping the comm) and I’ll be posting another on Monday (nothing serious).  Then next Thursday the game is on.  We have lots of interesting (we hope) and fun challenges lined up for this phase.  I’m very excited about co-owning this comm and I’m hoping I get my head straightened out so I can join in on some of the challenges.

+I have way too much TV to catch up on.  I think there’s like 5 House episodes, a Bones, Sanctuary, Hell on Wheels, a bunch of sitcoms.  The only thing we seem to keep watching regularly is Castle, Terra Nova, The Walking Dead, Fringe and Sons of Anarchy (that’s hubby’s show…I just don’t get it).

+Bears won yesterday.  W00t!  But Cutler broke his thumb.  Boo!  He might be out the rest of the season.  Noooooooo!

+Carl Edwards lost the NASCAR championship.  Grrr.  Like Tony Stewart needs another one.  But at least it wasn’t freaking Jimmy Johnson.  I swore last year that if he won again I was boycotting forever.  Carl was so close to winning this time.  Not amused.

+Six Sentences from my Sam/Jack WIP:
——-
“This is wrong,” he said softly.

Daniel frowned.
——-
I swear it’s Sam/Jack.

+I think the kids entered my email on something online because I’m getting a ton of idiotic junk mail and way too many phishing scams to count.  That’s why I don’t like them playing anywhere near the computer.  Give them a chance once to use it (to write their NaNo and post word counts to the YWP website) and they get online, created their own AOL emails, start fake facebook accounts, post pictures of themselves and use my email to sign up for crap.  BANNED FOR LIFE!!!!!!

What is your name? full name is Jennifer Nicole but I’ve gone by Jen for most of my adult life

Are you named after anyone?  nope, they were just the 2 names my parents liked best.  They had no idea Jennifer was sucha popular name in the late 70s.  Guess they didn’t have any friends with kids, lol.

Would you name a child of yours after you? we considered using Nicole as a middle name for our oldest.  We were going to name her Kiley Nicole but I changed my mind a couple week before she was born so we ended up with Meagan Greer instead.

If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? I forget…my parents had a list of boys names for me

If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? I kind of like my name.  Sure it was annoying growing up with at least one other Jen/Jenny/Jennifer in every class but now I consider it kind of a fun club that we all belong to.  When you mention your name is Jen to another Jen you get a knowing look from them–they instantly understand what that has meant your entire life.  That’s why my screen name most places is “justanotherjen” (came up with that after I made up my livejournal).

Are there any mispronunciations/typos that people do with your name?  I’ve had a few people ask me how to spell Jennifer which I never got.  Is there really a huge amount of people that spell it differently?

Do you live in the moment? not really, trying to be more in the moment and less dwelling in the past

Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? yep, unless you’ve done something to lose my tolerance (like acting like an asshat)

Do you have any secrets? of course

Do you hate yourself? most of the time…working on that, too

Do you like your handwriting? sometimes

Do you have any bad habits? lots of them

What is the compliment you get from most people? I’m bad at accepting compliments, I tend to tune them out so I have no idea what people say about me other than in relation to my kids…people always compliment me on how well behaved the kids are when we are out in public

If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? Insanity Run Rampant…(that’s a long internal joke that no one will get because you’re not me but the subtitle of my journal is “random insanity for the insanely random”, lol.  It’s a theme.

Can you sing? not well but that doesn’t stop me, lol

Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? no, I hate posers

Are you a loner? yes, by nature

What are your #1 priorities in life? making sure my kids grow up to be productive, well adjusted members of society, maybe feeling less insane

If you were another person, would you be friends with you? in my current condition…probably not

Are you a daredevil? no

Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? that I’ll completely snap some day and hurt somebody I love

Are you passive or aggressive? mostly passive aggressive

What is your greatest strength and weakness? weakness…too many thing to mention, strengths…loyalty, determination, don’t know

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my brain chemistry…so I wouldn’t feel so crazy all the time

Do you think you are emotionally strong? hahahahahahahaha

Do you think life has been good so far? probably but my fucked up brain won’t let me see it

What do you like the most about your body? my eyes, they’re about the only thing that doesn’t offend me

Do you think you are good looking? used to (even when I was severely overweight) but anymore I feel ugly

Are you confident? nope

What is the fictional character you are most like? no idea

Are you perceived wrongly? all the time

Do You…

Smoke? nope, never tried it.  My mom was a smoker and I got enough 2nd hand smoke to last me a lifetime.  I didn’t realize how much it effected my health until I went off to college.  I stopped getting sick all the time (like monthly, down to once or twice a year after I moved out) and every time I’d go home I’d suddenly have issues breathing (sinuses) or catch some kind of cold or start coughing all the time.

Read the newspaper?  nope.  I did in high school when my parents got the paper every day.  My routine was to get up, get dressed and read the paper until my brother was ready for school and our ride came.  He’d still be running around crazy and I’d be all the way to the comics at the end.

Pray? nope

Go to church? nope–I’m atheist.  I haven’t been to a church service in 13 years

Talk to strangers who IM you? I don’t IM so I don’t get random people IMing me

Sleep with stuffed animals? used to but our idiot landlord threw away my stuffed bunny during a botched move in 2007. 

Take walks in the rain? mostly out of necessity now.  Had to walk to the store the other day and it started pouring.  Sigh.  Luckily it stopped for our walk home and we didn’t get too wet.  But that’s pretty normal here in the winter.  I LOVED walking in the snow back in the day.  I’d do that for fun.

Talk to people even though you hate them? if I have to

Drive? I know how, have a license but I don’t drive because our truck isn’t legally registered.  I refuse to get a ticket because my husband has been too lazy and cheap to renew the registration for 3 years (long story)

Like to drive fast? I prefer to stay within 5 miles of the speed limit.  I’m non-confrontational like that.

Beliefs…

Believe in life on other planets? sure, makes sense that we wouldn’t be the only planet with life, intelligent or otherwise

Miracles? not really

Astrology? no

Magic? not the mystical kind

God? no

Satan? no

Ghosts? no

Luck? not intellectually but I still talk like it’s real because it’s a way to vent frustration about the crappy stuff that happens

Witches? not in the green faces, flying on a broomstick sense

Easter bunny? no

Believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? physically–sure, that just takes willpower.  But in the heart…I’m sure it’s probably possible but I don’t think it’s as easy as people make it out to be.  I think the mind will want what it wants even if it isn’t what’s best for it (the whole grass is always greener thing).  My parents were together for 29 years before my mom died and I know my dad never wandered.  I’m sure my mom never did either although she got very close to another man when I was a kid (which greatly upset my dad) but I know she would never cheat physically…who knows what she was thinking internally.  I know they loved each other tremendously and would still be together, celebrating their 40th anniversary this year, had my mom not died.  My dad will die alone because he was devastated when she died and will never love anyone the way he loved her.

Believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? I wish

Do you wish on stars? if I’m feeling silly

Deep Theological Questions…

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? nope, don’t believe in heaven and hell at all

Do you think God has a gender? don’t believe in gods

Do you believe in organized religion? nope, and that started long before I was fully atheist

Where do you think we go when we die? in the ground or in an urn (well, a little heart shaped paper mache box if you are my mom)

Friends…

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? not that I know of, I did in college

Your favourite inside joke?  Well, it wouldn’t be an “inside joke” if I told everyone, now would it

Last person you talked to online? don’t remember, I’ve chatted with a lot of people in the last week

Who are you on the phone with most? I don’t make phone calls.  The last time I talked on the phone was a few weeks ago and it was a brief conversation with my husband about something or other.  I have no idea why he didn’t just text me like usual.

Who do you trust most? no one really, but I’m working on that

Do you trust others easily? basic trust…yes, but deep down trust (as in depending on them with my life) not at all

Do your friends know you? maybe

Friend that lives farthest away: real life friends…anyone back in Chicago (2000+ miles away), online friends…I have a few that live in Australia

Love and All That…

Do you consider love a mistake? nope

Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? don’t care, I’m married and he thinks I’m beautiful

What is best about the opposite sex? dunno

What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? oh, I could go on and on about this one

Are you in love? yes, for 12 1/2 years.  We’ll be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary in January.

Right This Moment…

Are you going out? no, it’s raining

What are you wearing right now? haven’t gotten dressed today so sweat pants, the t-shirt I wore the last 2 days (gross…I’ve been so lazy lately) and slippers…none of it matching in any way, lol

What are you worried about right now? money

What book are you reading? not reading any books but I’m working through rachel500‘s Aftershocks series (somewhere in season 4 right now…just hit the stories revolving around 2010)

Are you bored? all the time

Are you tired? most of the time

Are you talking to anyone online? no

Are you talking to anyone on the phone? no

Are you lonely or content? just bored, lol

Are you listening to music? no, it’s blissfully quiet in the house…husband is at work, kids are at school and Jack is sleeping.  The only noise is my fingers typing and the hum of the fridge.  And the patter of rain outside.