my little heathens

I have ~~four~~ five of them. Yes, they are a handful. No, I’m not crazy. No, they weren’t all planned. Yes, we know where they come from. No, none of them are twins. Yes, .~~we are considering having another one some day~~ we are finally done.

Those are the answers to many of the questions I get or used to get on a daily basis. I never understood why people were so fascinated with my family.

My first three children: Meagan, Owen and Brenna, were born within a 28 month span and all by c-section.

Meagan was born in June 2000. When she was 7 months old I found out I was pregnant again. Owen was born when she was 15 months old in October, 2001.

Meagan meets her new baby brother for the first time-Octobe 1, 2001

Meagan meets her new baby brother for the first time-October 1, 2001

Meagan and Owen circa February 2002

Five months later, just as we were all really settling into a routine I got another positive pregnancy test. Brenna was born in November 2002 when Owen was 13 months and Meagan was a little past 2 years old.

Meagan (2 1/2), Brenna (8 weeks old) & Owen (15 months)

We had three under three years old for about 8 months–all in diapers until Meagan finally decided to potty train a couple months after turning 3. I got used to the constant stares when we went out and the questions about Meagan and Owen being twins. I never saw the resemblance at that age but Meagan has always been small for her age and Owen has always been big. By the time he was 7 months old and she was 22 months they weighed the same amount. When he was 3 and she was 4 they were the same height. He is now towers over her by a good 5 inches at 11 and 10.

Brenna (15 months), Meagan (3 1/2) & Owen (2)

Owen (3), Brenna (2) & Meagan (4 1/2)

As if three kids isn’t bad enough (or so it seems in today’s society) when we moved to Pittsburgh in 2005 we discussed adding to our family. We never really settled the debate but a few weeks later I was pregnant. Nora was born in April 2006 and welcomed home by Meagan who was almost 6, Owen who was 4 1/2 and Brenna who was 3 1/2.

Me and Nora the day she was born

Owen was devastated that he didn’t get the little brother he was sure we were having. When I told him he had yet another sister he burst into tears and went running to Daddy. But after a few minutes he warmed up to the idea of a new baby sister. We decided to let him hold her first because of his disappointment. Since that moment when she was just an hour old they have had an amazing bond.

Owen (4 1/2) holding Nora for the first time

Owen lived for helping out with the baby. He insisted on learning to hold her bottle and would lay next to her on the floor and hold her binky in so she wouldn’t spit it out and cry. When he started kindergarten Nora screamed all the way home after dropping him off. She was devastated that her “Bubby” wasn’t home with her. She would wander around the house calling his name.

Nora (8 months) and Owen (5)

clockwise from top: Brenna (4), Meagan (6 1/2), Nora (11 months) & Owen (5)

Having 4 kids so close in age created some logistical problems, like how to get four kids in and out of carseats when none of them know how to buckle and unbuckle their own straps (happily that phase has passed) and how do you hold hands while crossing the street with 3 kids while you are trying to push a stroller (also done with this problem). I was once asked while I walked down the street with the older three if I was part of a daycare. I’ve had people in stores ask me if they are all mine…”well, duh, they’re all calling me Mommy aren’t they?”

Then, just as we were adjusting to the idea that four was the magic number for us I got another positive pregnancy test. This was completely out of the blue and threw us for a loop. It was February 2009 and the kids were 8 1/2, 7, 6 and almost 3. I wasn’t ready to have another baby. But then, just as the idea settled in and we were both getting excited I started spotting. The cramps started the next morning and by that night I was having a miscarriage. I was at 12 weeks, and although I was mostly relieved in the end, it was a very traumatic experience. One we shared with almost no one as no one except my one friend knew we were pregnant. Most of my family and the kids still don’t know about that baby.

That summer I decided we were over the loss and definitely done having kids. I was 32 and just feeling really old. So I cleaned out the basement and sent all the baby stuff (minus sentimental items) to the Salvation Army. That’s always a bad omen. In November, right around the time I was supposed to be due with that miscarried baby I found out I was pregnant for the 6th time. And, surprisingly, we were both excited. It wasn’t an easy time. Things were all up in the air with job changes and moving but on July 14, 2010 we welcomed Jack Logan to the family. He was 7lbs 8.5oz and absolutely perfect. Owen finally got his baby brother (just 4 years late).

Jack Logan at 3 days old

The time surrounding Jack’s birth was crazy. The last trimester I was on my own with the kids in Chicago (with my disabled father) while my husband was working in Portland, OR and trying to find a place for us to live. And I had no car. So I had to walk everywhere. Or take the bus. I hadn’t had to ride the bus since high school but there I was with my very pregnant belly and my four year old in tow. Luckily my dad got his car working enough to use the last couple of weeks because the temperature were pushing 100F at the end of June/beginning of July that year. It was awful. My husband made it back just days before Jack’s c-section and then he had two months off. That sounds all nice and cozy and lots of family time. But it wasn’t. When he was 3 weeks old two POD type boxes arrived on my dad’s lawn and we proceeded to load them with all our earthly possessions.

Then we drove to Missouri to visit the in-laws for a weekend.

My mil with all 9 grandkids and 3 great grandkids

Gramma and all the grandkids having ice cream

And then we started our adventure. One we will not soon forget. We drove from northeast Missouri to our little town outside of Vancouver, WA. With four kids and a newborn. In a pick up truck meant for only six people. With almost no money to our names. It was insane. We stayed in a motel the first night. The 2nd night we camped in Nebraska somewhere.

the kids eating breakfast after camping in Nebraska

the kids taking a break from the drive in Nebraska somewhere--Brenna (7 1/2), Jack (3 1/2 weeks), Meagan (10), Owen (8 1/2) and Nora (4)

Then we finally made it into Colorado. It was so much cooler and beautiful in the mountains. It was 110 while we were driving through Nebraska. We stopped at a pass way up in the mountains to just look around. I was afraid our truck wouldn’t make it up but somehow it pushed through.

the kids in Colorado--they had to put jeans and warm clothes on when they got out of the car because it was so much cooler than in the plains

The next night we decided to just get another motel. But it was the next morning we realized we had long since run out of money and used up our entire savings. We were in the red and running on borrowed time. It was the weekend and we just hoped it would be another day or so until the bank realized we were utterly overdrawn. We pushed forward into Utah where we slept in the car in a parking lot of mini mall. That was the most miserable night in existence. Nora was stuck in her carseat, the girls were sharing a seat so we had to take Jack out of his carseat and put the carseat outside so the girls could have space. Then me, hubby and Owen in the front seat. I cried most of the night. The next day we drove through Nevada and into California where we slept on the side of some little highway because we were both too tired to drive on any further. I had to keep the window open because of the oppressive heat so we were all eaten alive by mosquitoes. But we survived and finally crossed into Oregon where we promptly ran out of gas, money and time. The bank caught on to us and put a hold on our card. We had $7 in change to our names. Literally. Just a baggie of coins was all we had. No food, no gas, no way to get the 300+ miles home. We had to call for someone to wire us money to make it to Washington. It was absolutely the craziest trip I have ever taken. And I feel stronger having survived it. But I have never been so happy to see home in my entire life. And we had no furniture. We were sleeping on an air mattress and sitting on the floor. We had nothing to cook with which didn’t really matter since we had no food. The only thing we could do was laugh. Jack’s first month of life was insanity.

But we survived and we love our home in Washington. The kids instantly made friends and they love their school. Everyone loves Jack. The neighborhood kids are always coming over to see him and they all want to take him for walks. It’s been great for the kids and for me to move here. I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.

Our lives are absolutely insane with all these kids. Money is always tight, there’s a lot of fighting but a lot of getting along, too. Somehow we manage to make ends meet and get along with our crazy lives.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world. The kids give me headaches most days and there is never a moment when the house is quiet unless they are all in bed (and that is when I get to pick up after them) but the moments when they get along trump the bad times.