Gordon Family circa 1955

My mom and her family Christmas 1955 (I think)
(l. to r. in the back) Howie, Grampa, Denny, Gramma holding Susie, Pat and Elaine
(in the front) Kitty, Glenna (my mom), Carol and Nora
(missing are Leroy and Shirley)

I got this off my cousin’s facebook.  We have a copy of this photo in our house.  My mom kept it in the living room but I’m not sure where my dad has it.  He might have packed it away after she died or it was in his room.  I love my family to death.  My mom and her siblings did not have an easy life but they are/were all such amazing people.  So strong and loving despite their childhoods.

I don’t actually believe in any kind of afterlife/heaven but I know my family does.  My mom did.  To those that have passed on: Shirley, Elaine, Leroy, Mom and Howie…I hope they’ve found whatever peace they thought would be there.  And to those of us left behind…((hugs)) as we find a way to move on without you in our lives.

[I'm crying now...damn, I miss my mom]

*sniff, sniff*

Decided to check my facebook this morning.  I haven’t really been checking it every day (I hated the way they changed it to show “popular” updates on top because I want to see them in order…which has been fixed) but decided today I’d do it first thing.

So I’m scanning down the page and see my cousin, Johnny, update a small thing about our Uncle Howie dying.  I think my heart literally stopped.  So I scroll down and My cousins Lisa and Carl also mention it.  I guess he died some time during the night.

He had been battling cancer for many years and was having issues with the cost.  He had to have some foundation help him out because his portion was in the thousands of dollars a month just for the chemo.  No one should have to worry about that crap when they are dying.  They had given him only a couple of years to live.

He’ll be missed greatly.  He’s the oldest of my mom’s siblings that was still alive (in his 70s but so full of life).  He leaves behind a wife, three sons and a few grandkids.  He joins his older brother, Leroy; older sisters, Shirley and Elaine (and their spouses) and younger sister, Glenna (my mom) in the afterlife…whatever that may be.

I didn’t know my Uncle Howie as well as some of my other aunts and uncles but what I remember of him was a jokester.  When we had our annual family reunion he always wore the same brown polo shirt.  Finally my mom asked him what was up with that and he laughed and said he wanted to see how long it would take for anyone to notice.  So it’s almost impossible to tell what year reunion pictures are from based on what Howard was wearing.  I mean, most of my childhood I only remember him in that shirt, lol.  He was always the strong presence in the background of the family, being the oldest brother living near everyone (Leroy lived in Utah, everyone else was in Michigan) he was kind of the patriarch of the family, looking out for everyone even though he lived kind of far from the center of the family.

I know his health was failing the last few times I saw him (years ago) necessitating him walking with a cane.  The last email I got from him a couple months ago said things didn’t look good but he was hopeful.

That leaves just two brothers: Pat and Denny, and the four girls: Nora, Kitty, Carol and Susie left in the family.  Just saying that is heartbreaking.  I’m not sure how I’ll handle it when the rest start going (hopefully not for many years).  Those left are the aunts and uncles I was closest to because they are close to my mom’s age (my Uncle Denny was my dad’s best friend in Vietnam and the reason my parents met and married).  My mom was dead center of the 5 little girls (in between Kitty and Carol) and all of the girls are about a year or so apart so they were close.  Nora was my mom’s best friend which is why I named my daughter after them (Nora Glenn).

I’m just so…I don’t know, numb right now.  I’m too emotionally raw from my own issues to feel anything.  I won’t be able to attend the funeral.  It’ll be back in Michigan and, even though I could catch a flight to Chicago or Detroit for free, I have no way to get to wherever they’re having it (he lived in the Flint area but the family is from Grand Rapids).  Plus that would mean my husband would have to take off work to stay at home with the kids and we can’t afford that.  I wish I had a picture to share.  I know I scanned some years ago but they must be on a disk packed away.

my little brother

I got to talk to my little brother yesterday.  I’m so happy.  I haven’t talked to him in…forever.  Usually when he calls he just talks to my dad or to no one at all because we’re all busy.

I miss my brother and talking to him yesterday just took me back to our younger days.  Like all the space and time between us just melts away and we’re teenagers sitting on the porch just talking.

The last time I actually saw him was in July 2006 when he came home after my dad had his heart attack.  The last time before then was in August/September of 2000 after my mom died.  Yep, in the last 8 years I’ve seen my brother twice.  In the last 10 years I’ve seen him 3 times.

It was a great talk.  I learned he’s still failing chem, hasn’t had a steady girlfriend in 3 years, really wants to move to Portland (OR) but the major he wants is only offered in the town he is already in (Corvallis) and got his lip pierced (to go along with several ear piercings, his eyebrow and his nipple which was a little more info then I wanted to know, lol).

Did I mention my brother will be 30 in January.  I just love him to death.  He is and always will be my baby brother and one of my best friends.

Yep, that’s my little brother…in 2006 at the age of 27.  Isn’t he a cutie.

Yeah, he’s a keeper (that’s my son in the background–4 years old)

1987 at the age of 8.

Here he is in 1985 rocking the Knight Rider big wheel.  How cool was he with the striped socks…and that plastic watch.  He was only 6 so…I guess it’s forgiveable.

Me and my brother in 1985.  He was 6 and I was 8.  I’m just too cool with that short hair cut and what is up with the pink coat…I HATE pink, lol.

scrapbook page of the day

Here’s a page I did in memory of my mother for Mother’s Day.  My mom died on August 19, 2000.  The anniversary of her death his next week.  It’s hard to imagine it has been 8 years since I spoke to her or saw her smile.  She has missed so much.  August is always a hard time of the year with all the memories that come flooding in, especially now that I’m living in her house again.  She is everywhere.

Brenna, my 5 1/2 year old, just came in this morning and asked if I was sad when my mom died.  I have no idea what brought up the topic.  She never knew my mom and I don’t really talk about her (I know my dad does, though, but he doesn’t talk much about her death).  It was just so odd.

My mom was just 51 years old and died of a stroke.  She had her first stroke when I was in high school (I think around 1994) but it was misdiagnosed.  Then she had her 2nd on in 2000, just days before my oldest daughter was born (in June).  On August 17, 2000, she went in to have surgery to unblock an artery in her neck to stop the strokes (the ones she had were minor and only caused temporary paralysis and confusion).  She ended up having a small stroke on the operating table, woke up afterwards confused and only long enough to ask my dad for some water then slipped into a coma.  They rushed her back into surgery that night and she had a massive stroke while in the OR and never woke up from her coma.  She was pronounced brain dead on Saturday, August 19, 2000 at the age of 51.

The last time I spoke to her was August 17 as she was leaving for the hospital.  I told her “see you later” and wasn’t planning on visiting her until the next morning when she was feeling better.  The next time I saw her she was just a shell with no brain function…she was dead.  It’s hard to think about sometimes.  And I regret every day I didn’t tell her I loved her and didn’t get to tell her how much I would miss her and didn’t take a picture of her in the hospital because I thought people would think I was morbid but she looked so beautiful even hooked to every machine known to man.

I think this page was done for a scraplift but I don’t remember now.  I really like the layout and red and hearts.

scrapbook page of the day

Here’s one I did earlier this year of my husband and his older sister.  We don’t get to see his family much because they live in Missouri and we live in Chicago.  It’s an 8 hour trip to their house because there are no major highways that go that way (just little 2 lane black tops).

The day before Easter this year we met them half way in Burlington, IA, where my father-in-law grew up.  This became a tradition years ago.  We always eat at the Ryan’s buffet place and then go over to the cemetery where the family is buried.

This was the first time we had seen the family since last July.  In July we spent 2 days in Missouri visiting them and we got to see my husband’s Uncle Leon for the last time (his mom’s older brother).  He died a few days after we left and we couldn’t afford to go back for the funeral.

This past March we only got to spend a few hours with my mother-in-law, 2 sisters-in-law and one nephew.

I took a bunch of pictures using my zoom lens while we were at the cemetery.  It was great because no one really realized I was taking pictures so they were much more natural.  I just loved this picture of my husband and his sister goofing off.  He hates to admit how much he loves his sister and how they are such good friends (despite the fact that they fight constantly–she is 4 years older then him).

This is actually my own design, too, which I’m proud of.  It wasn’t long after creating this that I decided I would do mostly scraplifts and sketch challenges to make things easier for me.

that’s what I like to see

My husband made me sit down and watch the last 22 laps of the race today.  I was planning on watching all of it but just felt…blah and played the sims instead and went swimming for an hour with the kids.

I was glad I watched because I got to see my favorite driver, Carl Edwards win!  WOOHOO!  Go Carl.  That’s 4 wins for him.  And Harvick came in 4th.

We have a family league thing going.  Every year we each pick 3 or 4 drivers and keep track of them through the year with our own point system.  Last year was our first year doing it.  I had Carl Edwards, Kevin Harvick, David Gilliland and Dale Jarrett.  I lost, lol.  I finished dead last thanks to Jarrett not starting a lot of the races but it is all in fun.

It came down to the very last race for our league.  Between my husband and my oldest daughter.  My daughter started out the season in like 4th place, then slowly climbed up and then was winning most of the year with Johnson, Stewart, McMurray and Montoya.  But after the last race Daddy pulled ahead by just a few points and won it, lol.  She was so mad.

This year we cut back to 3 drivers each because it is easier to keep track of, although, neither of us has done up the points yet.

Hubby has Kurt Busch, Jeff Burton and Casey Mears.

I have Carl Edwards, Kevin Harvick and Brian Vickers.

Meagan has Jamie Mc Murray (her favorite driver since she was like 3), Jimmie Johnson and Tony Stewart.

Owen has Denny Hamlin, Junior and Biffle (I think).

Brenna has Bobby Labonte (her absolute favorite driver…she even named her puppy after him), Kyle Busch and Matt Kenseth.

Nora (who has no favorites yet…we just picked some leftovers last year for her) has Jeff Gordon, Clint Bowyer and Ryan Newman (I think).

Anyway, I’ll bet anything Brenna has our championship locked in this year.

We actually do the points up two different ways (since me and my husband couldn’t agree on a system).  Mine is simple.  For qualifying the pole gets 18 points (last year it was 24 because we each had 4 drivers).  Every other spot gets one less.  Winning the race gets you 36 points (again, last year it was 48).  Each consecutive spot is 2 less points (2nd is 34, 3rd is 32, etc).

There are no bonus points in my system (yet, I might add some in, though).  The most points you can get for any race is 54 and the least amount you can get is 3 as long as you qualify (0pts if you don’t actually make the race).

With this system last year Jeff Gordon won our championship by over 100 points, but my husband’s team with Burton, Kurt Busch, Truex and Mears won over Meagan’s team of Stewart, Johnson, McMurray and Montoya.  Gordon’s team came in 3rd.

I found the whole thing interesting.  I forget who won with my husband’s convoluted points system.

scrapbook page of the day

Here’s one I did back in 2006.  I think it was the first time I stuck almost completely with one cit (splendid by shabby princess).  The only addition was the yellow mats (that I made myself) and the monkey.  I forget where I got that.  It isn’t great but I still like it.  The layout was for a sketch challenge I believe.  I might use that again.

I’m actually redoing Nora’s baby book.  I’m not scrapping the old pages.  I’m just making new ones with my newer skills I have now.  I want to make one for my Aunt Nora, who my daughter was named after.  She’s only seen my Nora twice in the 2 years Nora has been alive (when she was 3 months old and when she was 16 months).

I’m not sure if this book will be any better, though.  I’m trying to do two page spreads and I just suck at it.  I also don’t normally put more then one or two photos on a page so trying to get more really boggles me.  Hopefully it will look good and then Nora can have two seperate baby books.

scrapbook page of the day

I did this one earlier this year.  It marks a change in my scrapping strategy as it is a scraplift.  Before this I was reluctant to do lifts because I felt it was cheating, but I realized I was getting nothing done by only using my own creativity.  The picture was taken at our family reunion in 1985.  That’s my mom on the right and her two younger sister (she also has/had 4 older sister and 4 older brothers).  Reunions were a riot when I was a kid and 1985 was one of the best ones.

Our Family Website

Boredom leads to actually updating our website.  It was stuck in March of 2008 so…I added a few pics here and there, updated some text, added a little blog right to the site to keep friends and family updated on us all in one place and added a new page about raising freethinking kids.  Check it out.

Our Family Website