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Eureka bad!fic: I’m the New Boss

I wrote this for a scifiland challenge.  I think I’m getting better at writing really bad!fic.  I just kind of went with it and the fact that I couldn’t remember details of the show kind of helped.  Made the writing even worse.

I’m the New Boss–a bad!fic
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
really bad OC
rating: none
WARNINGS: have something to soothe your burning eyes after

There’s a new boss at Global Dynamics. Only no one knows it yet. No one knows it cuz it’s me. I’m Avril Summer Raiyne. Yeah, that’s what my mom named me. Awesome isn’t it.
Anyway the new boss got to Eureka today. Everyone in town was watching her when she went to that cafe place. She ordered her favorite–a banana split with real hot fudge. She heard no one gains weight in Eureka cuz they have some kind of super food that doesn’t make you gain weight. Cool. So she left and then walked down the street towards the Global Dynamics building and everyone was staring. I like it when they stare. It’s cuz I’m beautiful with a capital B!
The new boss (aka ME) has spikey short hair with the tips highlighted different colors and the biggest green eyes ever (they really are). Her lashes go on forever and she doesn’t really need makeup because her skin is flawless with just a smattering of freckles on her upturned nose. But she wears some pink glossy lip gloss that’s flavored like strawberries cuz you never know when you might have to kiss a boy and they like when your kisses taste good. And she likes a little pink eyeshadow and a lot of liner to highlight her huge eyes. Today she’s wearing skintight leather pants with a black tank top and a black leather jacket. Super cool.

So Avril gets to Global Dynamics and says to the guy who still thinks he’s in charge, “hey, you, I’m the boss now so get out of my chair.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m AVril Summer Raiyne and I’m the new boss.”

“Hey, you can’t just come in here and say you’re the boss.”

“Yes I can.”

Then this other lady comes in and acts like she’s in charge even though she should know I am.

“Who died and made you god?” she asks.

“That general guy hired me and now I’m in charge so you better do what I say. Things will be easier that way.”

The guy with the glasses gives me this look like he wants to drag me to the janitor’s closet and have his way with me. I’m used to that cuz I get it all the time on account of how pretty I am. I bat my super long lashes at him.

“Yaeh, Allison. She’s in charge now so don’t worry.” Then he kisses my hand real gentle like and I smile at him but I’m not interested like that cuz I heard there are cuter guys in Eureka.

“Hey,” I say to the chick,” I heard there is a really cute sherrif here. Go get him.”

She glared at the new boss but got the sherriff and he was really cute and his name was Jack which I really like (Jack’s like the coolest name EVA!) And Jack thought I was the prettiest thing he ever saw.

“You are the most gorgeous girl I’m ever met,” he told Avril even with Allison glaring at him. Then he got real close and wispered: “I know a janitor’s closet near by.” Then he grabbed my hand and dragged me along and I just laughed and laughed because he was super cute and I didn’t mind. So I win. I’m the boss and that Fargo guy is in love with me and Jack is mine and that stupid Allison can go back down to the hospital and pout cuz she lost. haha.

The end.


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