Stargate SG-1 fic: Harsh Reality
Hey, what do you know… SG-1 fic. Rewatching all these other shows has really pulled me away from my main fandom. But, then again, you get Angel and Buffy fic instead.
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
“This shouldn’t be happening. His one real fear when he took command of the SGC was not being there to save his team. Four months in and the nightmare was unfolding around him.”
don’t own… wish I did, but I don’t. No infringement intended.
The carpet felt rough under Jack’s feet, every fiber digging and tearing into his flesh. Everything felt like that. Harsh. Lights too bright. Every noise like a sledgehammer to his head. Even the air was wrong—his skin crawling to get away from the assault, his throat closing around every breath. Everything was hard angles and sharp edges.
Except the colors. Those were washed out to a dull, lifeless gray. No more blues and yellows, green or brown. Just gray. The edges of his vision blurring and fading so that it didn’t really matter anyway.
That wasn’t fair and he knew it—it wasn’t Daniel’s fault, he was just the bearer of bad news. His chest tightened, guilt creeping into the empty little crevices around his heart. This shouldn’t be happening. The thought played on a continuous loop in Jack’s head. Only occasionally drowned out by Daniel’s words.
“Jack…” He sounded beaten, his usual enthusiasm washed away. “I’m sorry.”
Jack had barely heard the words, his mind immediately racing with every horrible scenario he could imagine. He’d only half listened to Daniel after that.
“We couldn’t have known. Everything looked fine when we gated in.” Daniel’s voice cracked; he was crying. “The attack came out of nowhere. Me and Teal’c barely had time to get to the ‘Gate.”
“Jaffa?” He was surprised he still had a voice.
Daniel sucked in a rattling breath. “Natives.”
Jack had completely tuned him out at that point—Daniel’s words just a jumble of noise his brain didn’t want to sort out. This shouldn’t be happening. His one real fear when he took command of the SGC was not being there to save his team. Four months in and the nightmare was unfolding around him.
The walls began to move—bending and swaying—and the ground began to pitch wildly. His vision tunneled to an impossibly small point; the pounding of his heart the only sound he could hear. Jack knew this feeling, he’d been there before—the moment he walked into his bedroom and saw all that blood. Except all he could see now was Sam lying battered and broken alone on some alien planet. He wished he’d just pass out already.
“Jack? Jack, can you hear me?” Daniel’s voice sounded distant. Jack’s eyes slid down to the object in his hands. Slowly he raised the phone to his ear. How long had Daniel been talking? Jack had lost all track of time. As far as he was concerned, time stopped the moment Daniel had told him Sam was lost.
“I don’t know how… I can’t… Oh, god, Jack. It’s… ” Daniel was blubbering. Jack fought to make sense of the words between the sobs. “Jack, you need to get down here. Now.” Behind Daniel’s voice, Jack could hear the klaxons, people shouting, medical teams being called. And the doctor on duty saying how it was a damned miracle.
Jack was on his feet in a second, the phone forgotten. The world burst back into vibrant technicolor. The noises of everyday life suddenly soothing instead of painful. He fumbled with his shoes, nearly fell down the front steps, dropped his keys three times. He needed to calm down. What good would it do if he got himself killed on his way to Sam’s resurrection?
Slowly he backed out of the drive, his heart hammering painfully in his chest, his hands shaking so badly he could barely hold the steering wheel. He knew this wasn’t the last time he’d have to live through this terror, but Sam was alive and that’s all that mattered to him right now.