Just Another Blog

my random ramblings about crafts, writing, books and kids

You’re Welcome

Once my football game (Chicago/Indianapolis) was over and I finished some crap on the computer I retreated to my room for some quiet time.  I’ve been having an Angel rewatch and I had like 20 minutes left in an episode so I watched that.  It happened to be the last episode on a disc so I changed it.  The first episode on the new disc was “You’re Welcome.”  I swear I stared at the start screen for over a minute before I got the courage to play it, lol.

It’s one of my all time favorite episodes but… it’s emotionally exhausting to watch.  It took me at least two hours to watch a 40-45 minute show.  Some of that was having to pause whenever the kids came in the room and while they got ready for bed (they were making so much noise in their rooms I couldn’t hear).  There were also the numerous trains.

But the rest was me having to stop to get control of my emotions.  At one point I was shaking.  I know it’s silly.  There is so much in that episode that just ties me up in knots.  The big one being the scene with Angel and Cordy talking in his apartment.  Angel looked so lost and, I don’t know, guilty, I guess.  For betraying the mission.  Cordy almost admits she was in love with him and I wanted to strangle her for not saying the words, something I’m sure Angel needed to hear.  Angel admits that Spike is a hero and you can tell how much that bothers him because he knows that should be him (even if the stuff with Spike ended up being a huge ruse).  And he practically begs Cordy to make things right.

Oh, not to mention Angel admitting that he needs Cordy and the subtext was pretty obvious.  I rewound that scene at least 7 times (some because of interruptions) just to get it all.

Then there was the huge fight between Angel and Lindsey which was epic and yummy.  I remember I watched the commentary one time and Christian Kane mentioned he wanted to come back on the show and finally get to kick some ass instead of constantly getting his ass kicked.  Didn’t work out too good, lol.

And, of course, there’s the end scene.  As soon as it started I was choked up.  I had to pause it twice before they even got to Cordy explaining she couldn’t stay.  But as soon as she said it I was in tears.  God, that was so heartbreaking.  I’m pretty sure that Angel is crying by the end.  So was I.

I had to turn the show off after that to recover.  I hate you Joss Whedon!

That’s not true, lol.  I know there were behind-the-scenes circumstances for Charisma Carpenter leaving the show but still… the way Joss kills off characters is just emotional torture.  A punch to the gut.  Do I need to mention Fred?

Also, I had forgotten how angsty the end of season 3 and the beginning of season 4 was.  From an Angel/Cordy point of view.  I mean, if you ignore all the squicky Cordy/Connor stuff.

There was more I was going to say about the episode but I woke up with a migraine and then pulled a muscle in my shoulder which is killing me.  Now the sun has come out so my head feels like it’s going to explode.  Time to go hide in my nice, quiet, dark room until the pain goes away.

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