Stargate SG-1: The One About Feelings
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
Jack & Daniel friendship
“There are things I want to talk about, things I’d like to tell him. Serious stuff.” Daniel and Jack are spending some time at Jack’s cabin but Daniel has other things on his mind than fishing. Not slash.
don’t own… wish I did, but I don’t. No infringement intended.
Jack sits across from me with his eyes closed. We’re at his cabin in Minnesota—just the two of us—for some team bonding. Teal’c was supposed to be with us but he decided to go see Rya’c. I can’t say anything bad about that. If Sha’re were still alive I sure as hell would be on my way to Abydos any time I got a break. Sam chickened out at the last minute. Sure she said there was some symposium or something in L.A. But I still think she chickened out.
I watch him now, draped over the Adirondack chair, head tilted up to the last rays of evening sun, eyes closed. There are things I want to talk about, things I’d like to tell him. Serious stuff. I open my mouth a couple times but close it without uttering a sound. I take a sip of my beer—my fourth—and feel the liquid courage working in my gut. I’m about to blurt it out when he opens his eyes and stares hard at me. It’s like he can sense when I’m going to get all sentimental and “touchy-feely.”
I want to tell him he’s my best friend, the only family I have left, and I don’t know what I do without him. I want to tell him that he’s like the big brother I never had, the one I wished was there when I was a kid and lonely. I want to tell him it’s okay to hurt, to talk about Charlie and losing Sara, that I’ll listen without judgment. I want to know his true feelings for Sam, and how I think he’s crazy for letting the military get in the way of that. And that I’m proud that he’s stuck his ground through it all.
I want to tell him he’s finally taught me hockey and I kind of enjoy it. I want to tell him he’s the strongest person I know and that every day of my life since I’ve met him I’ve tried to emulate that strength. I want him to know he’s made me a better man. But most of all I want him to know how much I love him. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t have gotten through everything without him.
But I don’t say any of that. Instead I say, “want another beer?”
Jack cracks an eye open and studies me then smiles. “Sure,” he drawls, holding his empty out. I take it and go inside. I grab two beers out of the fridge. Maybe after one more I’ll finally find the courage to say it all.