Just Another Blog

my random ramblings about crafts, writing, books and kids

What I Want to Be When I Grow Up


I was super cute at 2 1/2

So, it’s only taken me 36 1/2 years to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I used to think I wanted to be a teacher. That’s what I always said as a kid. And when I went to college my major was Early Education. But the more I thought about it the more I realized I could never teach. For one I have severe social anxiety and the thought of being in front of class of kids terrified me, and two, I just don’t have the patience. Which is funny when you consider I have five kids of my own. I can deal with them (mostly) but other people’s kids drive me nuts.

So I changed my major to English with an emphasis in linguistics but ended up quitting school before I started taking any of my classes towards my major. Not long after that I got married and started my family (in the same year). Having three kids in just over two years left me with not a lot of time to do much of anything. By the time we were adding number four I had little interest in school anymore. It was tedious enough helping the kids with their homework. Add in kid number five and I was like, “why would I even want to try to go to school with five kids, a husband and a house to deal with?”


me at about 8 year old

I think a lot of that was my depression and anxiety coming forward. I liked school when I was in it but the stress got to me. I don’t deal well with stress (part of my anxiety issues). In the last two years I’ve been getting help with my mental illnesses and I’m finally starting to feel better. I feel different. Like a different person. I guess that’s why my ideas for the future have changed. With the depression controlling me I never saw a future for myself. I twas hard enough to just get through one day. Now I have plans, wants for myself.

It’s been a real eye opener. So what do I want to be when I grow up? Besides getting a novel published, I’d like to be an editor. The book kind of editor but not for a publishing company. I’d like to freelance for now. I’d like to help out young and/or new writers with their first works. Teach them what I know about writing and help them shape up their first works. I know I won’t earn much money this way but it’s what I really want to do.


me (on the left) and my friend Vasso at our high school graduation, 1995

In that regard, I’ve applied to Ashford University online school to finish my BA in English. I was 74 credits in at Truman State when I quit but not sure how many credits will transfer. I talked to the admissions guy last Wednesday and the wait is killing me. I’m totally emailing him after I’m done with this post. I need to know if I’ve been accepted and got all my financial aid in order (which will put is in a ton of debt but oh well, when aren’t we in debt?).

For the first time in over fifteen years I want to go back to school. I want my degree. Not that I think I need it to be a novelist or to help newbies edit their stories/books but it makes me feel more legit. I even looked around to see if they had any graduate online schools in writing (found one that isn’t much more expensive than Ashford). Although I loved the set up at Portland State University (their graduate program is slightly more than what I’d be paying for Ashford) but I’m not sure I want to be in classrooms again. I probably won’t go as far as my MFA but I have thought about it as a way to better my own writing.

2009 02 16_0006

me with a smile because I’m happy to go back to school!


Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: