How to Procrastinate
1. Open a new document. Spend ten minutes setting the font, spacing, and indents.
2. Turn to a clean page in your notebook. Spend fifteen minutes sharpening your pencils.
3. Make a quick snack so you don’t have to stop writing. Spend a half hour loading the dishwasher and cleaning the stove.
4. Spend an hour organizing your writing books by height, then color, then topic, then height. Don’t read any of them.
5. Spend two hours searching online for inspiration. Spend most of the time looking at cat videos.
6. Make an update about your writing on Twitter. Forget the world exists for five hours.
7. Decide to take a little nap to replenish you energy. Wake up wondering why it’s dark already.
8. Jot down notes for a great story idea. Don’t actually write any of it.
9. Have kids. Enough said.
10. Make blog posts. Hey, that’s writing, isn’t it?