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That Time of Year Again

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I’m not sure if I’m officially doing Camp this round. I haven’t been feeling the greatest health- and mood-wise so writing was a struggle all through June. I don’t want to put undue pressure on myself then feel guilty when I can’t handle it.

On the other hand, I wasn’t going to participate in April then ended up writing like ten chapters of Heaven Can’t Wait and nearly caught up with edits.

This month, I’d like to also work on finishing/editing some of the stories from April 2017 Camp. But I won’t restrict it to just those stories. There are also the stories from March 2017 when I did a different prompt every day and then all of the stuff I’ve started this year out of boredom. I know there are a bunch that I could pretty easily finish if I put my mind to it.

wignow_mdAnyway, if you are participating in Camp or just want some motivation for your writing, check out 4thewords.com. It’s a fun site where you battle monsters with your words to complete quests. Each monster (like the cute Wignow to the left) has a certain number of words to finish in a time limit (Wignows are 250 words in 30 minutes).

untu27_mdIt’s a lot of fun, but it cost $4/month after the 30-day free trial. But right now is a great time to try it out because we have special events that coincide with NaNo events, and this month is another Untu hunt.

There’s a special zone, monsters that only appear during April and July, and lots of fun quests to get you writing. If you decide to check it out, use this referral code: WVBIY23608. That way we both get c-crystals if you eventually buy a month’s subscription. C-crystals are currency in the game and are used to pay for subscriptions and wardrobe items for your avatar.

Trust me, the site is worth it if you need that little extra to get you writing or something to keep you focused.

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Random Camp NaNo Update

I haven’t done any Camp updates this month because, well, I really wasn’t doing Camp. I made a random goal of 30k words like usual just to have a project listed and hoped a real goal would come to mind.

My depression was spiraling out of control at the end of March, I was behind by eight chapter for Heaven Can’t Wait, and had skipped writing half the months of February and March. At that point, I was going to be happy with just writing every day. Which is a very noble goal, just not one the Camp site really allows.

Really, my goal needed to be to catch up with my chapters, but by the time April started, I was so far behind, I didn’t think that was even possible so I didn’t think about it at all. Until last night. Read more…

Camp NaNoWriMo

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It has begun!

I don’t think I’m really participating this year. I can’t decide on a project to focus on, and I’ve been lucky to write even half of the days each month. Maybe my goal is just to write every day. It’s something. I’ll think about it a little more today. I might feel okay now, but tomorrow could be another story.

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But for those of you that are participating or thinking about, don’t forget to check out 4 The Words. It’s a fun writing website set up like a roll-playing game. You choose a character for yourself, set up the avatar, then battle monsters to finish quests. The monsters require a different number of words in different amounts of time to beat.

untu1It really is a lot of fun, and this month there is a special event running for Camp NaNo–the Untu Hunt which has it’s own zone, monsters and quests. It’s a great time to join in and use your 30-day trial (after that it does cost $4.44/month, but it’s well worth it).

If you decide to sign up, use this referral code WVBIY23608. If you end up buying a subscription, we both get bonus core-crystals which are currency in the game.

That Time of Year Again

March is half over which means it’s time to gear up for Camp NaNoWriMo!

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Camp is a much more laid back version of NaNoWriMo. You set your own goal which can be words or hours or lines of poetry. Whatever you need (except chapters for some reason). There are two camps every year in April and July in case next month doesn’t work for you.

I’m still not sure what I’m doing this year. Last year, I started all of those The 100 stories. Most of them are still waiting there to be finished. The responsible side of me says I should work on those or get caught up on Heaven Can’t Wait (which was one of those Camp stories), but the other side wants to jump into a fun new project.

Not sure which side will win yet. I’ve got two weeks to figure it out. The games begin April 1st. Which also happens to be Easter so that’ll be fun.

Anyone else wanna play?

The 100 fic: Fall to Pieces

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The 100 | 1454 words | [PG]
Canon divergent. After a year on the ground, Bellamy and Clarke are finally ready to confront their feelings. As long as Bellamy doesn’t break his neck first. Written for April Camp NaNo.


By Clarke’s calculations, they’ve been on the ground for around 380 days. It’s the end of September. Or maybe it’s early October. It’s hard to tell. The chill of autumn has chased away the sweltering heat of July and August, but summer is making a last stand. The sun that filters through the treetops tickles her skin, leaving little goosebumps down her arms. She glances to her side—those might be from another reason, though.

Next to her, Bellamy’s hair flutters around his head in the warm breeze. He repeatedly shoves it out of his eyes with a huff, but it does no good. Watching him try makes her grin.

“You need a haircut.”

He snorts. “Thinking of making a career change to hair stylist, princess?” he asks without any of his usual derision. He shoots her a smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes and releases a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.

Clarke looks away before he can see her blush. She’d never hear the end of it. If there was one thing Bellamy was good at it was teasing her. He knew how to push all of her buttons. Which, she has to admit, isn’t always a bad thing. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see him still smiling. It looks good on him. She wishes he would do it more often. “Why are you in such a good mood?

“What do you mean?”

She doesn’t believe his innocent act for a second. And she’s not going to fall for his charm. Not much anyway. She narrows her eyes at him, hoping she looks more stern and less like he has her insides doing gymnastics. “You’re acting weird. What are you up to?”

“Are you always this suspicious?”

“When it comes to you—yes.”

They stare at each other a moment before they both crack a smile. Bellamy shrugs. “It’s a nice day. I don’t have to deal with the whining back at camp. What’s not to be happy about?”

He has a point. It does feel nice to get a break from the monotony of camp where everyone constantly needs her attention. Bellamy, though, seemed especially eager to get away when she mentioned she needed an escort to the river. Usually, he pawned babysitting off on one of his gunners—Harper or Monroe went with her a lot. This time, he jumped at the opportunity then looked embarrassed by his enthusiasm. It was kind of cute.

Bellamy hops onto the crumbling remains of a wall. She watches him balance along it like a tightrope walker, arms out, as he climbs higher.

“You’re going to fall,” Clarke says, blocking the sun with her hand as she watches him cross the wall ten feet in the air.

“I’m not going to fall. Will you relax, Clarke.”

She rolls her eyes. Why did he have to be such a pain? “One of us has to be responsible.”

He ducks under the branch of an overhanging tree and looks down at her. “You think I’m not responsible?”

She squints up at him again. She can’t really see his face with the sun blinding her, but she imagines his annoyed look. “Not with your own life. Not really.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He sounds genuinely offended.

Clarke shrugs. “When it comes to your own safety, you don’t seem to care much.”

“I’m just trying to keep everyone alive.”

“I know, but you don’t have to risk your own life to do it.”

He cocks his head. “So who’s life should I risk? Monty’s? Jasper’s? Yours?”

“I know you know what I’m talking about so quit acting like a jerk and get down here.” She bites her lip when he wobbles a little, but he recovers effortlessly. She’s pretty sure he did it intentionally just to give her a heart attack.

“Now I’m a jerk?” At least the devilish grin is back on his face.

Her heart flips. She’s not sure if it’s from that look he gives her or the fact that he’s one wrong step away from breaking his neck. He eyes a tree a good five feet from the wall.

“Bellamy-” Clarke warns, but as usual, he doesn’t listen.

He jumps, snagging the branch easily. His smirk lasts about three seconds. Then the branch gives with a loud crack. Bellamy lands with a thud on his back, the air rushing out of him in a groan.

Clarke runs over, sliding to her knees next to him. “Are you okay?”

His eyes roll back as he fights for breath, but eventually, he gasps. Clarke lets out her own relieved breath then smacks his chest. “I told you to be careful.”

“No, you didn’t.” He pries a rock out from under him, tossing it into the woods. “You just said I would fall.”

“And you did.”

Bellamy gives her a crooked grin. “Still didn’t tell me to be careful.”

She smacks him again. Sometimes she thinks he argues just to annoy her. “You didn’t give me a chance. Besides, it’s implied, smartass. Are you all right?”

“I think so.”

Clarke helps him sit up, watching him carefully for signs of injury. He seems okay. “You know, there are easier ways to impress me.”

His face flushes scarlet. “Why do you think I’m trying to impress you?” he sputters, voice sounding a little strangled. She has to bite back a smile because his awkwardness is adorable.

Neither of them says anything for a long time. They’ve been dancing around their feelings for over a year. It’s exhausting. She’s about to tell him she’s tired of playing games, but he cuts her off.

“I wanted to spend time with you. Is that such a bad thing?” Bellamy says softly. He picks up a twig and nervously breaks it apart. “We’re both always so busy.”

Clarke sucks in a sharp breath. She didn’t expect him to come right out with it, but now that they’re actually talking about this, she’s a little terrified. She swallows hard but the lump is still stuck in her throat. “If you wanted to spend time with me you could have just asked. You didn’t have to fall out of a tree to get my attention.”

Bellamy ducks his head. “It’s not like I did it on purpose.”

“Uh-huh.”

His cheeks are still rosy, but Clarke sees the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “For reference in the future, what do I have to do to impress you?”

Her heart does another backflip. “For starters, just tell me when you want to hang out instead of elaborate plots to get me alone.”

He blushes again—it’s charming how insecure he is right now. “What if I want to do more than hang out?”

His eyes widen. She’s not sure who’s more surprised by his confession. Before he can take it back, she leans closer. “Then quit being a baby and make a move.”

She can see the moment he realizes she’s serious. He cups her face slowly—giving her a chance to change her mind. It makes her love him even more. The second their lips brush, an explosion of desire chases the butterflies away. Clarke’s entire body vibrates. The heat between them burns her skin, but she can’t get enough of it. She tangles her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck causing Bellamy to growl. The sound makes her head spin. She’s lost and doesn’t care if she’s ever found. How does he even have this effect on her?

When they finally pull apart, Bellamy’s pupils are shot, giving him a dazed look. “Wow,” he murmurs, breathless. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Clarke’s heart threatens to beat right out of her chest. The way he’s looking at her right now might be the most beautiful thing on Earth. And it took way too long for her to find it. She pulls him closer—she’s tired of waiting. “I think I do.”

This kiss is sweeter. Tender. It’s a side of Bellamy she wouldn’t have believed existed a year ago. She’s glad he’s finally showing it.

“Am I impressing you yet?” he says against her lips.

Clarke laughs. “Bellamy, you’ve been impressing me since the day we met.”

He leans back, eyebrow cocked. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

She pretends to think. “I’m not sure. You might have to kiss me a few more times-” He doesn’t give her a chance to finish. Which is fine. Clarke can’t remember what she was talking about anyway. It may have taken 380 days, but it was worth every argument and smartass comment it took to get here. Well worth it.

July Camp NaNo – Week 4 Recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoSo, yeah…

I’ve given up on Camp this month. Hey, I won back in April, so I’ve already got the shiny banners to prove it. I’m just too depressed to concentrate on anything. I did get five stories posted this month. That’s great.

And I did write every day. My journal is full of rants, vents, and brainstorming. And I got in at least 100 words of some creative writing each day. Most of it wasn’t in anything I was supposed to be working on for camp, but with my mood, any words are a win.

This is how mental illness affects your life in ways people don’t consider. Writing is something I love to do, but the last few weeks, it’s gotten harder and harder to push words out. I’ve had to force myself several days–writing the bare minimum. Feeling like that towards writing just makes me more depressed. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break.

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I may have failed camp, but I’m proud of myself for pushing through the depression to do some kind of writing every day even if it was only ranting in my journal about being depressed. A  year ago, I would have given up completely and not written anything for three months. I have the spreadsheet to prove it.

Camp NaNo July – Week 3 Recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoAnother week down.

I’m having a hard time coming up with anything witty to say. The last few weeks have been tough mood-wise. The depression hasn’t let up. There are moments it’s not as bad, but for the most part, I just feel blah all of the time.

bipolarAnd because of that, not much is getting done. And I also don’t care which is the worst part. The depression lets me give up. It makes me want to give up because there doesn’t seem to be a point. So far, though, I’ve pushed through. I might not have written anything that qualifies for Camp, but I have written.

Writing: The goal was 100 words to a WIP from April or March. I added 548 words to “writer’s choice.” The rest of the week I worked on a personal project–a self-indulgent fanfic that no one else will ever read. That way I can let loose and not worry about all of the stuff in my head. I’ve managed to write 5k words for that so far. It’s not what I intended to write this month, but they’re words. D

Editing: The goal was 1 hour every day. I did none. I tried a couple times, but mostly just sat there re-reading stuff then staring at the screen with no idea what to do. No editing means no new stories being posted this week. Sad face. F

Yeah, this past week was a fail for Camp NaNo, but a mild success in that I managed to keep writing through the depression. It wasn’t what I intended to write, but it’s a huge thing for me. So, I guess I could grade on a curve and give myself a C.

Total words this week: 6,050 (only 548 towards Camp goals)
Total hours editing this week: 0

Next week will be better.

500words

Camp NaNo July – Week 2 Recap

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I almost considered not writing this post. Then I decided it might be a good way to highlight one of the difficult hurdles in my life. Depression.

hyperboleThe last couple weeks, it’s been getting worse. This is not good news, especially for my writing. When I’m depressed, I don’t want to do anything. Sometimes, I just stare at the wall, lost in my own dark, swirling thoughts. Usually I get on Facebook and read stupid articles and even stupider comment threads. Or play Candy Crush. Mindless things. The last thing I want to do is write. It’s like the depression squeezes off the flow of creativity in my brain.

And, as it often does with depression, not being able to write makes me more depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that is hard to escape. So far, I’ve managed to continue writing every day. I’ve written in my journal which doesn’t always help with my mood, and I’ve managed to add words to WIPs. Sometimes nothing more than twenty. But those are twenty words I didn’t have before.

Why am I saying all of this? No real reason. I just thought I’d mention what a struggle this past week was. I feel like I got nothing done, but looking over the stats, I’m surprised at the number of words I have. So maybe the failure is more in my head–the depression whispering sweet nothingness in my ear.

My goal was 100 words each day. According to my spreadsheet I have over 2,000 words not including today (since I haven’t written yet). Well, that’s impressive. Except only about 60 of them are editing words. That’s fine. The rest are words added to WIPs. I guess I get to give myself an A+ even though it doesn’t feel like I got anything done.

zoidbergsadface

Editing. This is where my failure shows. The goal is one hour each day. I believe my grand total for the week is about 47 minutes. Forty-seven of 420 minutes. F- – – Lack of editing means lack of posting things. Of course, someone might look at my blog and be like, “what are you talking about? There are two new stories posted this week.”

Ah, yes there are. Except they were both finished last week and only scheduled to post this week. Oh well.

I’m going to have to give myself a C- for the week (those extra minuses on the F really pulled things down).

The problem with depression is that is sucks up all of your energy, and for me, my creativity. On the other hand, it also lies to you and tells you that you suck at everything and are failing. My perception of last week was a lot more distorted than I expected. Either way, I still feel like I failed. Guess that means the depression is winning?

justkeepwritingBut on to next week which will hopefully be better. Here’s to those that keep trying despite the pain and exhaustion and despair.

Total words this week: 2,192 (not including today)
Total hours editing this week: <1

Stories posted:
Wash Away the Pain (The 100 (TV))
Unstoppable (The 100 (TV))

Camp NaNo July – Week 1 recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoWell, it’s been a week. Yeah, it surprised me, too. I’m not sure whether to call this one a win or loss.

On one hand, I posted three stories this week (none of them from April Camp), but on the other hand, I haven’t done much else. I finished editing one April story (“blood“), and I’ve been editing another (“inside“). I think I’m going to put it away for now because the words are all starting to blur together. I got a lot done, though.

Unfortunately, a lot of editing doesn’t always equal a lot of words. My goal was 100 words each day, and I managed to average 93/day. Sounds great except most days were under 100 words. I’ll give myself a C-.

I also missed my mark most days on hours editing. I’ve only done a full hour a couple times. I’ve come close a few other times, but I’m always interrupted. Or get distracted by shiny things (Tiny Tower = teh devilz). Despite that, I managed to get six hours of editing in over the course of seven days. So, I’ll give myself a B on that.

Averaging them together, I get a C+ for the week. Not bad, but could be better.

Total words this week: 653
Total hours editing this week: ~6

Stories posted:
Home Improvement (Stargate SG-1)
Rockets Red Glare (Red Vs. Blue)
Forty Days to Gone (The 100 (TV))

Camp NaNoWriMo Redux

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoIf you’re having a bit of deja vu, that’s okay. You’re not imagining that I posted about Camp NaNo before. Unlike NaNoWriMo, you get two opportunities to go to Camp NaNo–April and July.

It took me a while to decide whether or not to do Camp this month. April burnt me out. I haven’t really wanted to write since then and did almost no editing on all of those stories I started. That is not good.

Yesterday, I started convincing myself I really needed to do this–I need to get stories finished and posted online. What I lacked is real motivation. And then the newest Untu zone opened at 4thewords.com. And that’s just what I needed. New monsters. New quests. Lots of writing to be had. But I needed new goals to achieve.

So instead of starting a new story and forcing myself to write 1,000 words each day, I’m toning things down. My goal is to add at least 100 new words to projects I started in April (or March) and edit those projects for at least an hour each day. That seems doable. 100 words is less than ten minutes of writing. The harder part will be the editing. Made even more difficult by the fact that the kids are on summer break, so they are interrupting me even more than usual.

But I shall persist.

So here’s to another successful Camp NaNoWriMo! Anyone else joining me?

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