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Archive for the tag “camp nanowrimo”

July Camp NaNo – Week 4 Recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoSo, yeah…

I’ve given up on Camp this month. Hey, I won back in April, so I’ve already got the shiny banners to prove it. I’m just too depressed to concentrate on anything. I did get five stories posted this month. That’s great.

And I did write every day. My journal is full of rants, vents, and brainstorming. And I got in at least 100 words of some creative writing each day. Most of it wasn’t in anything I was supposed to be working on for camp, but with my mood, any words are a win.

This is how mental illness affects your life in ways people don’t consider. Writing is something I love to do, but the last few weeks, it’s gotten harder and harder to push words out. I’ve had to force myself several days–writing the bare minimum. Feeling like that towards writing just makes me more depressed. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break.

fakewell

I may have failed camp, but I’m proud of myself for pushing through the depression to do some kind of writing every day even if it was only ranting in my journal about being depressed. A  year ago, I would have given up completely and not written anything for three months. I have the spreadsheet to prove it.

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Camp NaNo July – Week 3 Recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoAnother week down.

I’m having a hard time coming up with anything witty to say. The last few weeks have been tough mood-wise. The depression hasn’t let up. There are moments it’s not as bad, but for the most part, I just feel blah all of the time.

bipolarAnd because of that, not much is getting done. And I also don’t care which is the worst part. The depression lets me give up. It makes me want to give up because there doesn’t seem to be a point. So far, though, I’ve pushed through. I might not have written anything that qualifies for Camp, but I have written.

Writing: The goal was 100 words to a WIP from April or March. I added 548 words to “writer’s choice.” The rest of the week I worked on a personal project–a self-indulgent fanfic that no one else will ever read. That way I can let loose and not worry about all of the stuff in my head. I’ve managed to write 5k words for that so far. It’s not what I intended to write this month, but they’re words. D

Editing: The goal was 1 hour every day. I did none. I tried a couple times, but mostly just sat there re-reading stuff then staring at the screen with no idea what to do. No editing means no new stories being posted this week. Sad face. F

Yeah, this past week was a fail for Camp NaNo, but a mild success in that I managed to keep writing through the depression. It wasn’t what I intended to write, but it’s a huge thing for me. So, I guess I could grade on a curve and give myself a C.

Total words this week: 6,050 (only 548 towards Camp goals)
Total hours editing this week: 0

Next week will be better.

500words

Camp NaNo July – Week 2 Recap

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I almost considered not writing this post. Then I decided it might be a good way to highlight one of the difficult hurdles in my life. Depression.

hyperboleThe last couple weeks, it’s been getting worse. This is not good news, especially for my writing. When I’m depressed, I don’t want to do anything. Sometimes, I just stare at the wall, lost in my own dark, swirling thoughts. Usually I get on Facebook and read stupid articles and even stupider comment threads. Or play Candy Crush. Mindless things. The last thing I want to do is write. It’s like the depression squeezes off the flow of creativity in my brain.

And, as it often does with depression, not being able to write makes me more depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that is hard to escape. So far, I’ve managed to continue writing every day. I’ve written in my journal which doesn’t always help with my mood, and I’ve managed to add words to WIPs. Sometimes nothing more than twenty. But those are twenty words I didn’t have before.

Why am I saying all of this? No real reason. I just thought I’d mention what a struggle this past week was. I feel like I got nothing done, but looking over the stats, I’m surprised at the number of words I have. So maybe the failure is more in my head–the depression whispering sweet nothingness in my ear.

My goal was 100 words each day. According to my spreadsheet I have over 2,000 words not including today (since I haven’t written yet). Well, that’s impressive. Except only about 60 of them are editing words. That’s fine. The rest are words added to WIPs. I guess I get to give myself an A+ even though it doesn’t feel like I got anything done.

zoidbergsadface

Editing. This is where my failure shows. The goal is one hour each day. I believe my grand total for the week is about 47 minutes. Forty-seven of 420 minutes. F- – – Lack of editing means lack of posting things. Of course, someone might look at my blog and be like, “what are you talking about? There are two new stories posted this week.”

Ah, yes there are. Except they were both finished last week and only scheduled to post this week. Oh well.

I’m going to have to give myself a C- for the week (those extra minuses on the F really pulled things down).

The problem with depression is that is sucks up all of your energy, and for me, my creativity. On the other hand, it also lies to you and tells you that you suck at everything and are failing. My perception of last week was a lot more distorted than I expected. Either way, I still feel like I failed. Guess that means the depression is winning?

justkeepwritingBut on to next week which will hopefully be better. Here’s to those that keep trying despite the pain and exhaustion and despair.

Total words this week: 2,192 (not including today)
Total hours editing this week: <1

Stories posted:
Wash Away the Pain (The 100 (TV))
Unstoppable (The 100 (TV))

Camp NaNo July – Week 1 recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoWell, it’s been a week. Yeah, it surprised me, too. I’m not sure whether to call this one a win or loss.

On one hand, I posted three stories this week (none of them from April Camp), but on the other hand, I haven’t done much else. I finished editing one April story (“blood“), and I’ve been editing another (“inside“). I think I’m going to put it away for now because the words are all starting to blur together. I got a lot done, though.

Unfortunately, a lot of editing doesn’t always equal a lot of words. My goal was 100 words each day, and I managed to average 93/day. Sounds great except most days were under 100 words. I’ll give myself a C-.

I also missed my mark most days on hours editing. I’ve only done a full hour a couple times. I’ve come close a few other times, but I’m always interrupted. Or get distracted by shiny things (Tiny Tower = teh devilz). Despite that, I managed to get six hours of editing in over the course of seven days. So, I’ll give myself a B on that.

Averaging them together, I get a C+ for the week. Not bad, but could be better.

Total words this week: 653
Total hours editing this week: ~6

Stories posted:
Home Improvement (Stargate SG-1)
Rockets Red Glare (Red Vs. Blue)
Forty Days to Gone (The 100 (TV))

Camp NaNoWriMo Redux

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoIf you’re having a bit of deja vu, that’s okay. You’re not imagining that I posted about Camp NaNo before. Unlike NaNoWriMo, you get two opportunities to go to Camp NaNo–April and July.

It took me a while to decide whether or not to do Camp this month. April burnt me out. I haven’t really wanted to write since then and did almost no editing on all of those stories I started. That is not good.

Yesterday, I started convincing myself I really needed to do this–I need to get stories finished and posted online. What I lacked is real motivation. And then the newest Untu zone opened at 4thewords.com. And that’s just what I needed. New monsters. New quests. Lots of writing to be had. But I needed new goals to achieve.

So instead of starting a new story and forcing myself to write 1,000 words each day, I’m toning things down. My goal is to add at least 100 new words to projects I started in April (or March) and edit those projects for at least an hour each day. That seems doable. 100 words is less than ten minutes of writing. The harder part will be the editing. Made even more difficult by the fact that the kids are on summer break, so they are interrupting me even more than usual.

But I shall persist.

So here’s to another successful Camp NaNoWriMo! Anyone else joining me?

Camp NaNo April – Day 30 and Camp recap

Camp-2017-Winner-Profile-PhotoIt’s over! It’s over! I can’t believe it. It’s the first time I’ve won Camp NaNo, although I’ve only tried like three other times over the last few years. I feel very accomplished even though all I did was add 29 stories to my WIP folder.

My grand total was 76,502 words over 30 days. I didn’t miss a single day. And that doesn’t include all of the journaling/brainstorming I did for the stories. That was 26k yesterday alone!

I’m riding high right now, but I’m also exhausted. I celebrated by cleaning the garage which I’d been putting off for a month. My brain is fried and my wrists hurt from typing so much, so my plan is to take it easy in May–some light journaling/brainstorming, at least 100 words to a WIP, and one hour of editing every day. The editing is going to be the part that trips me up.

The only downer at the moment is that I didn’t publish one story each week like I planned. I didn’t even get two stories out last month. I kind of feel all of the recaps I did make up for it, but I plan to get three stories out this month.

On to the last Camp recap!

Day 30: betray

Nobody said living in the bunker would be easy, but three months in and people are ready to kill each other. It’s all Bellamy can do to keep the peace. When it all gets to be too much, he finds a quiet space in a dark, abandoned tunnel. Clarke always knows where to find him, and she’s exactly what he needs after another rough day.

With Clarke he doesn’t have to spell out his problems. He doesn’t have to say anything at all. She just knows what he needs to hear and when he needs to hear it. She’s always been great that way. For Bellamy, these intimate little chats never last long enough, but his butt is numb and he’s bone tired.

Talking with Clarke did brighten his day a little. Too bad nothing good ever lasts long for Bellamy. He hears a banging noise coming from a storage closet. He can’t not investigate. What he finds is almost too horrible to comprehend. Now he’s rushing a bleeding Luna to their makeshift medbay. And things don’t look good.

The End.

There’s a lot that will be going on in the story–what I wrote was mostly just Clarke and Bellamy talking about how tired they are.

Bonus:

Clarke squeezes his knee, sending a shiver through his body. She does things like this now, and he never knows what they mean. It’s like she wants to throw him more off balance. Is everyone plotting against him? But this is Clarke. He lays his hand on top of hers, wrapping his fingers around hers. She smiles up at him, and he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. He has no idea how or why she has this effect on him.

That’s a lie. He knows exactly why she has this effect. He wants to tell her. It’s on the tip of his tongue, but he bites it back. It’s not the right time. He doesn’t deserve her yet. Maybe never, but he’s got to try to earn that back. Instead he squeezes her hand, getting her attention. “Are you okay?”

He can barely see the faint smile on her face. “Of course.” He arches an eyebrow and Clarke sighs. “No, not really. Not at all.”

Bellamy snorts. “Finally, an honest answer.”

She glares at him but then just sighs again, leaning her head against his shoulder. “It’s hard being the leader,” she whispers.

“Yeah.”

Other recaps:
Day 1 – survive
Day 2 – redo
Day 3 – sunshine
Day 4 – fear
Day 5 – inside
Day 6 – share  FINISHED!
Day 7 – annoy
Day 8 – guard
Day 9 – Heaven
Day 10 – blood 
Day 11 – promise
Day 12 – discover
Day 13 – together
Day 14 – try
Day 15 – experiment
Day 16 – illusive
Day 17 – phone
Day 18 – trust
Day 19 – threat 
Day 20 – breath
Day 21 – fall
Day 22 – mind
Day 23 – writer’s choice
Day 24 – mistake
Day 25 – collide
Day 26 – life
Day 27 – remember
Day 28 – sympathy
Day 29 – dispose

FINISHED STORIES!!!
Handle with Care – share (day 6)

Camp NaNo April – Day 29 recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoWhat’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word dispose?

Come on, admit it–you thought of the mafia dumping bodies into the river. Or some variation. I know I did. My second thought was, “I’m not really into turning Bellamy and Clarke into murderers.”

I really had no idea what to do with this prompt until I checked the dictionary. Low and behold, “dispose” has other meanings. Who woulda thunk?

I decided to go with this one: to make fit or ready; prepare

Day 29: dispose

Today we join Bellamy as he’s getting ready to infiltrate Mt. Weather. He’s trying to psych himself up, but the fact that half of the grounder clothes he’s wearing are too small and the other half are too big isn’t a good sign. Then Clarke shows up.

He really doesn’t want to talk to her. But he really does.

That’s basically how all of his thoughts are when it comes to her. Contradictions that bounce around in his head. Right now, he’s just confused about why she’s here because six hours ago, she pretty much said he was expendable. And that hurt more than he cared to admit.

It’s hard to figure out what she wants when she just stands there looking small and awkward. More like a kid than whatever the ground has molded her into the last month. He doesn’t like it.

And he doesn’t like the tension. He doesn’t like this situation at all, but he doesn’t have the words to say all of that. Apparently Clarke doesn’t either so they fall back to their old routine and bicker.

There’s a good chance Bellamy won’t make it back from this mission. They both know it, so why are they fighting? That’s what Bellamy wants to know. He’s pretty sure it has something to do with the Commander wedging herself between them. He’s not jealous, he swears, but he doesn’t like being left out of the loop. A loop that consisted of the two of them until a few days ago. How did that happen?

The End.

I noticed there was a bit of time in season two between episodes nine and ten where they could have a conversation about the decision to send Bellamy into Mt. Weather. It never sat right with me that one minute she’s telling him she can’t lose him and the next it’s worth risking his life. I get why she made the decision–why she said that–but they never actually discuss why she changed her mind. And I didn’t like how they went from being partners to Clarke being in charge. Looking back, this seems like an omen for season three. Bad things happen when they aren’t working together.

Bonus:

“It’s going to be fine, Clarke. Let me worry about getting into Mt. Weather, and you worry about-” He scrunches his face and looks away. “You worry about Lexa.”

He finishes putting on the jacket. It’s too small but wearable. When Clarke doesn’t say anything he looks up at her. She’s just staring at him. God, he hates it when she does that.

This is stupid. They’re running out of time. Bellamy rubs his forehead and sighs. “I don’t want to fight Clarke.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then what are we doing?”

She stares for a couple more seconds before looking away, swallowing hard. “I don’t know.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “We used to talk about this stuff. Make the plans.” He doesn’t finish his thoughts.

Clarke nods, still not looking at him. This chasm has opened between them in the last couple days, and he doesn’t like it. “Forget it,” he mumbles and grabs the cloak he’ll be wearing over the jacket.

Other recaps:
Day 1 – survive
Day 2 – redo
Day 3 – sunshine
Day 4 – fear
Day 5 – inside
Day 6 – share  FINISHED!
Day 7 – annoy
Day 8 – guard
Day 9 – Heaven
Day 10 – blood 
Day 11 – promise
Day 12 – discover
Day 13 – together
Day 14 – try
Day 15 – experiment
Day 16 – illusive
Day 17 – phone
Day 18 – trust
Day 19 – threat 
Day 20 – breath
Day 21 – fall
Day 22 – mind
Day 23 – writer’s choice
Day 24 – mistake
Day 25 – collide
Day 26 – life
Day 27 – remember
Day 28 – sympathy

FINISHED STORIES!!!
Handle with Care – share (day 6)

Camp NaNo April – Day 28 recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoYikes. Only two more days to go. I know I’m going to make it, but it still seems unbelievable to me. There have been months I’ve written more total words, but not while having written every single day.

And I’m so excited about all of the stories I’ve started (some even finished). The next few months are going to be busy finishing, revising, and posting stories. I can’t wait.

 

Day 28: sympathy

The last twenty-four hours have been hell for the entire camp. Bellamy feels like his insides were put through a blender–at least the parts he didn’t puke up while he was dying of the plague.

Somehow they got through it like they always do. They even stopped a grounder army from attacking in the process. He guesses it’s a win, but it doesn’t feel that way when they’re digging more graves.

Bellamy feels like death warmed over, but he’s not the only one that’s been put through the wringer. When he hears the faint crying, he thinks about ignoring it. It’s not unusual to hear the other kids waking with nightmares or crying for their mothers. But something changes his mind.

He finds Clarke in the darkness. He doesn’t like to see girls cry. And he doesn’t like thinking of Clarke as weak. She’s the rock he’s started to lean on to get through each crisis. He’s not sure when that happened, but he can at least admit it to himself. But this time, Clarke is the one that needs support.

He doesn’t know what to say to her, so the best he can offer is a shoulder to cry on.

The End.

Not the longest recap. I had trouble setting this story, so it might change drastically in the future.

Bonus:

Curious, he follows the noise into the darkness. The girl sniffles but suddenly quiets when she realizes she’s not alone. He squints at the figure sitting against the dropship. “Clarke?”

She doesn’t answer, just pulls her legs in closer, hugging them tightly. Bellamy squats down in front of her. “Hey,” he says, lightly touching her arm. “You okay?”

She wipes at her eyes and nods. “Fine.” She opes her mouth like she plans to say more but nothing comes out. She turns away, probably so he won’t see her cry.

He’s not sure what to do. Things have been weird between them since they went to the bunker. He can’t stop thinking about her, and it nearly gave him a heart attack when he saw her sick. When he looks at those fourteen graves, all he can think is thank god she’s not in one of them. He wonders if she ever has those thoughts about him.

Other recaps:
Day 1 – survive
Day 2 – redo
Day 3 – sunshine
Day 4 – fear
Day 5 – inside
Day 6 – share  FINISHED!
Day 7 – annoy
Day 8 – guard
Day 9 – Heaven
Day 10 – blood 
Day 11 – promise
Day 12 – discover
Day 13 – together
Day 14 – try
Day 15 – experiment
Day 16 – illusive
Day 17 – phone
Day 18 – trust
Day 19 – threat 
Day 20 – breath
Day 21 – fall
Day 22 – mind
Day 23 – writer’s choice
Day 24 – mistake
Day 25 – collide
Day 26 – life
Day 27 – remember

FINISHED STORIES!!!
Handle with Care – share (day 6)

Camp NaNo April – Day 27 recap

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Today’s story is brought to you by tvtropes.org. Okay, maybe not exactly, but as I was trying to think of an angle for the story, I remembered the site, and that made me think of all the cliched tropes I like to read. What better trope for the prompt, “remember,” than amnesia?

I’ve only written the first scene, and I’m already having way too much fun with this story. I’ve never done amnesia fic before, but I’ve read some. I also remembered a show I saw on Discovery Channel many years ago about a woman that got amnesia but only forgot the last twenty years of her life. In her mind, she was twenty-three with one baby, not in her forties with grown children. It was really interesting. Put all of that in a blender and you get this…

Day 27: remember

Bellamy’s day was going pretty well he thought. His mom had some extra rations for him before his guard exam, Octavia left him alone for three full hours to study, and he knew he was going to ace the tests. He had to because it was the only way he was going to keep Octavia safe.

His day got even better after the exam. He did better than he’d hoped, and Aimee Mason asked him out. Him. She always had a thing for the guards. It was probably the best day of his life.

But then things get cloudy. Something must have happened because he wakes up to a pain splitting his skull open. He has no idea where he is or what is going on. The last thing he remembers is the exam. And Aimee. And then… nothing. Only pain and confusion.

There are other people with him, but he doesn’t dare open his eyes. He’s sure they’ll just pop right out of his head. Probably right after his brain liquefies and dribbles out of his ears. He can tell at least one of the voices belongs to a doctor, but she’s not making any sense.

Animals? Woods? Grounders? He knows the words, but she might as well be speaking a foreign language for all Bellamy can understand. He must have hit his head pretty hard.

He has no idea what’s going on, but he knows it’s bad. He wants his mom, but he’s too afraid to bring attention to her. This is like his worst nightmare. How could his perfect day fall apart so quickly. And why can’t he remember what happened?

The End.

That’s about as far as I got in my actual writing. He’s about ten seconds away from finding out he’s lost his memories from the last five years. This is going to be so much fun to write.

Bonus:

“Bellamy, I need you to open your eyes so I can check you out, okay? You have to tell me what happened so I can help you.”

He didn’t know what happened. Why can’t they understand that? Who were these people anyway?

“Let me try.” The other voice sounded younger–maybe his age. She leaned closer and brushed his hair away from his forehead. His entire body trembled at her touch. He had no idea why, but it distracted him from the atomic bomb going off in his head. Slowly, she slid her hands over his, curling her fingers around his palms.

“Bellamy,” she said, her voice soft and calm. “Can you move your hands? You don’t have to open your eyes, okay? Just move your hands, so we can check you out.”

He frowned. He didn’t want to move. His head hurt so much. But when her fingers tightened, he let her pull his hands from his face.

Other recaps:
Day 1 – survive
Day 2 – redo
Day 3 – sunshine
Day 4 – fear
Day 5 – inside
Day 6 – share  FINISHED!
Day 7 – annoy
Day 8 – guard
Day 9 – Heaven
Day 10 – blood 
Day 11 – promise
Day 12 – discover
Day 13 – together
Day 14 – try
Day 15 – experiment
Day 16 – illusive
Day 17 – phone
Day 18 – trust
Day 19 – threat 
Day 20 – breath
Day 21 – fall
Day 22 – mind
Day 23 – writer’s choice
Day 24 – mistake
Day 25 – collide
Day 26 – life

FINISHED STORIES!!!
Handle with Care – share (day 6)

 

Camp NaNo April – Day 26 recap

Camp-2017-Participant-Profile-PhotoI don’t think I have anything interesting or snarky to say today, so I’ll jut get right to the recap.

Day 26: life

Ten years ago, they sealed the doors to the underground bunker they thought they would be calling home for five years. They weren’t prepared for the extended stay. At the five-year mark, twelve people treated with the Nightblood therapy went to the surface. Ten came back. Barely.

Since then, they’ve occasionally sent people out to test the radiation levels. After ten years, they’re hoping this mission will give them the good news that the Earth is survivable again. Because they’re not really sure how long they can stay underground before the entire population loses its collective minds.

Bellamy and Clarke are leading the expedition. That is if Abby will ever let them leave. Her maternal worrying has grown out of control over the years since her stroke. There’s only so much of it they can stand. Kane, though, manages to distract Abby long enough for them to make their escape.

The surface is nothing like they left it–nothing like when they landed. Nothing the grounders remember. It’s barren and haunted. If they’re lucky, they’ll find signs of life this time. Little bits of grass pushing through the cracked ground. Maybe a bird. A bug. Anything will do.

Bellamy isn’t looking forward to this mission. As much as he hates the bunker, seeing the wasteland on the surface makes him ill. On top of that, Roan has invited himself along. He refuses to admit his title of “king” means nothing after all of these years. Bellamy isn’t in the mood to butt heads with him.

Then there’s Clarke. Who isn’t exactly talking to him at the moment. Which is fine because he doesn’t want to talk to her either. He’s not sure when their friendship fell apart or why. Sometimes, he’s not even sure he cares. Between the potential radiation sickness, Roan’s moaning, and dealing with Clarke, his day is looking bleaker and bleaker.

The End.

Sorry, most of what I wrote was world building and Abby babying Bellamy. And it might not sound like it, but it’s totally a love story. Bellamy and Clarke will always find their way back to each other somehow.

Bonus:

Abby gave him one of those looks that always make him feel like a little boy. “Be careful. Okay? I know your tolerance to the radiation is high, but you can still have symptoms. If you start to feel sick come straight back. Any symptom–upset stomach, itchy skin that could mean lesions, dizziness.

“I know,” Bellamy said, checking his pack again.

“Abby,” Kane said, pulling her away, “quit mothering the boy to death.”

Bellamy shot him a thankful look.

“I just want to make sure he’s going to be okay.”

Kane sighed. “He knows what he’s doing. And Clarke will be with him. What could possibly go wrong?”

A few feet away, Clarke snorted. Bellamy ignored her then snapped his bag closed, tossing it over his shoulder. “I’ll be fine, Abby; I promise. I’ll watch for symptoms and check my readings-” he tapped the radiation monitor clipped to his jacket “-and I won’t eat any strange plants or animals.”

“Don’t eat anything!”

He smiled. She hadn’t been the same since her stroke a few years ago, but underneath she was still Dr. Griffin. “I promise I won’t eat anything. If I try, I’m sure Clarke will smack some sense into me or something.”

Clarke snorted again.

Abby pressed her hand to his cheek. “You’re a good boy.”

Other recaps:
Day 1 – survive
Day 2 – redo
Day 3 – sunshine
Day 4 – fear
Day 5 – inside
Day 6 – share  FINISHED!
Day 7 – annoy
Day 8 – guard
Day 9 – Heaven
Day 10 – blood 
Day 11 – promise
Day 12 – discover
Day 13 – together
Day 14 – try
Day 15 – experiment
Day 16 – illusive
Day 17 – phone
Day 18 – trust
Day 19 – threat 
Day 20 – breath
Day 21 – fall
Day 22 – mind
Day 23 – writer’s choice
Day 24 – mistake
Day 25 – collide

FINISHED STORIES!!!
Handle with Care – share (day 6)

 

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