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my random ramblings about crafts, writing, books and kids

Archive for the tag “funny”

A Conversation with Jack

So this happened with my seven-year-old son.

Jack: When can I have my tablet back?
Me: On Monday after you do your homework.
Jack: But why?
Me: Because you got it taken away for not going to bed when you were told and lying about it.
Jack: But I didn’t!
Me: You were standing right here when I told you to go to bed at 9:30 then you lied to Daddy and said no one told you to go to bed.
Jack: But I didn’t lie. No one told me that.
Me: You were standing right here! You even whined about it.
Jack: No I didn’t.
Me: You’re lying to me about lying right now.
Jack: No I’m not.
Me: o_0

Kids.

Mine really do crack me up. When they’re not making me want to strangle them. I try to write down as many ridiculous conversations as I can. There are a bunch on my tumblr.

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Stargate SG-1 fic: When I’m Gone

Just a little team miscommunication courtesy or Jack’s twisted sense of humor.

190 words | rating: G


“Remember me when I’m gone,” Jack said, appearing at the door of Sam’s lab. Sam and Daniel looked up from the plan they were working on.

“Why?” asked Daniel. “What’s wrong?

“Are you sick, sir?”

Jack sat heavily on one of the stools. He didn’t even spin. “Yes, sick.”

“Oh, god. What is it? Cancer? Poisoning? What was that alien thing SG-9 caught last week-”

Sam interrupted him. “Sir, is it serious?”

“Very.”

Daniel looked panicked. “What can we do, Jack? Is there a treatment?”

Jack sighed. “Unfortunately, no.”

“No,” Daniel yelled, “this isn’t right. You can’t die. We’ll talk to the Tok’ra. They owe us.”

“Who said anything about dying?”

Sam and Daniel exchanged looks. “You did,” they said at the same time

“No, I didn’t. I said to remember me when I’m gone. Hammond just told me I’m being sent to Washington for the week. This is serious business. There’s no treatment for boredom by politician.”

Sam rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Sir-”

Jack just smiled.

“Sometimes I hate you,” said Daniel.

“Well, my work here is done,” Jack said with a clap. “See you next week.”

Hilarious Spam Messages

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from Jason

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from Jack (must be related to Jason above)

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Most of these were left on this post
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Conversations With My Kids

I made a new tumblr just to post the silly conversations I have with my kids.

 

sampleconvo

Conversations With My Kids

 

 

Writing Pompt #1

Use this piece of dialogue in a story.

Prompt: "What I lack in common sense, I make up for in sarcasm."

Based on something my twelve-year-old daughter said to me today.

HuffPo comment exchanges keep me entertained

I read the Huffington Post. Occasionally I like to comment on topics I have an opinion on. Lately I’ve been much more opinionated.

In case you didn’t know, I’m an atheist. I’m a liberal. I’m just short of being a full blown socialist (I know it would never work in our greedy, self-centered society). So the topic I comment on was Atheist Billboards To Flood California City As Non-Believers Make Holiday Push.

You can see why the topic caught my attention. Mostly I was there to laugh at the antics in the comments but then I posted a few things and some guy got all pissy with me.

This is how it went down:

prayer1 prayer2 prayer3 prayer4 prayer5

I didn’t start the exchange but I couldn’t resist the comment about praying not really helping. To the believers that read my blog: I apologize for offending but I’m not going to sugarcoat my beliefs. I’m just not usually vocal about them but this guy hit a nerve with his “holier than thou” attitude. Apparently I really pissed him off with my comments. I especially like the “you’re pathetic” comment. At least he spelled, “you’re,” correctly. I’ll give him points for that. But overall he comes off as a slathering idiot fanatic which is probably not what he was going for.

And I suppose I could be seen as immature for pushing the issue. But sometimes I just want to be a kid. Trust me, I don’t always antagonize the fundies.

Blast from the Past

I haven’t watched this in years but Nora (my 7yo) brought it up and I had to go find the video. So freaking funny.

Haven’t been updating or doing much scrapbooking this month.  My computer is slowly dying on me.  It crashed just after Thanksgiving (in the middle of finishing my NaNo novel).  I finally got it running outside of safe mode but when I tried to install a game last week it crashed again.  It took me almost four days to get it out of safe mode.

I can run PSE6 so I can scrap but I just haven’t been inspired since the computer problems.  But I have gotten a few pages done.  This one I did yesterday.

flower fingers

This is my youngest daughter.  She’s a hoot.  I mean a real riot.  Every day she surprises me with the things she thinks up.  She’s only 2 1/2 but is so mature that I sometimes forget she is still a baby.

Yesterday she came into my room and said, “look, Mommy, flower fingers,” and held up her hand.  On each finger she had a plastic flower from her block set.  She thought up this all on her own and then posed for the camera.

Today she comes up to my door and I hear, “Mommy, look at me,” and when I looked over she pulled her pants down to moon me and started dancing around singing, “shake my booty, shake my booty.”  She thinks mooning people is the funniest thing in the world.  Can’t say I raise ladies around here.

credits:
kit: when lena smiles by creashens available at twolittlepixels and catscrap
font: poor richard

teehee–about the election…sims 3 style

Dr. Horrible on itunes

I just checked itunes and Acts 3, 2 and 1 of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog are #1, 2 and 3 for TV show downloads right now.  How awesome is that.  If you want to catch the show while it is still free go to drhorrible.com and watch right now.  By tomorrow night they will be gone and then you have to buy them from itunes or wait for the DVD.

They will be available at itunes until the 29th for $1.99 per act or I bought the season pass for $3.99 and now I’m waiting for Act 2 and 3 to download (I downloaded Act 1 a couple days ago but forgot all about logging back into itunes to download the other 2 parts…my husband is the itunes person, I don’t even own an mp3 player).

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