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Archive for the tag “kids: meagan”

Day 70 of Isolation: Family Dinner

My oldest daughter decided to cook dinner for the family. She can’t really cook, but at least she wanted to try, I guess. I was not home when said cooking was being done.

When we got back from grocery shopping, I was worn out and looking forward to sitting down in my quiet room with a bowl of leftover chicken and rice, but my daughter wanted us all to sit at the table.

We never eat that the table except for holidays because it always ends in arguments (with or without yelling). It’s emotionally and mentally exhausting for me, and I almost never enjoy the meal because I’m stressed out. But after her blow-up yesterday, I felt obligated to join.

Despite my already bad mood because of depression and the fight yesterday, I tried to participate in a family thing. I even ate her food. It’s not that I didn’t trust it or anything, I just really had a taste for my rice. She made chicken wraps with some kind of cilantro-lime sauce and my black bean & corn salsa.

It turned out surprisingly well. I probably would have added rice to the chicken to make it go farther. She ended up cooking three of my six chicken breasts I had left. Those had to last us until… who knows when. Now we’re almost out of meat. I wanted to cry when I found that out, but held it together.

The best part was Jack actually ate two of the wraps, and he normally hates flour tortillas (says he doesn’t like the texture) and liked the sauce and even the avocados. The baby did not like the avocados but enjoyed mixing the sauce in with some of my leftover rice and the chicken from the wraps.

I think it was a little easier to enjoy the meal when I didn’t have to spend two hours cooking first. I even helped clean up when normally, I retreat to my room as soon as we’re done eating because I’m barely awake at that point. My daughter, on the other hand, was super tired and stressed and finally understood why I don’t eat with the family. Usually, I’m not even hungry by the time I finish cooking (especially on holidays).

Anyway, I’ll have to get her to write down her sauce recipe to add to the tin.

I’m also guessing we’re going to be having more family meals because she thinks that’s what’s wrong with the family (they just don’t really work for us, but I guess we can try once a week or something).

Day 69 of Isolation: Family is Unraveling

Apparently I’m a shitty mother and a worse grandmother and we all suck.

That is all.

Day 59 of Isolation: Mother’s Day Redux

I was in such a foul mood yesterday, but I did want to give thanks to my own mom who isn’t with me anymore. I miss her every single day. This is my 19th Mother’s Day and the 19th Mother’s Day without my mom. She died in August 2000, just a couple months after my first child was born. We never got to be moms together and she never got the chance to be a grandma which she was so looking forward to.

So to my mom, Glenna Jean… Happy Mother’s Day to the best mom out there. I wish I had been a better daughter and told you more often how much I love you. I miss our weekly Sunday chats (although I’m sure Dad doesn’t miss the long-distance bills, lol). I wish you could see your grandkids and great-grandson and be a part of their life, but it just wasn’t meant to be.

me and mom at uncle denny's

Me and my mom in 1985. I was 8.

And here’s the last picture of her alive with her very best friend–her sister, Nora who I named my youngest daughter after (Nora Glenn after the both of them).


And to the other moms in my life…

My mother-in-law, Kay, who is also no longer with us:


Here she is with my youngest son, Jack, in 2010. The last time we saw her. She died in March 2017.

And to my daughter, Meagan, on her first Mother’s Day, who despite all of her issues, is a really good mom. I’m so proud of her.


Day 14 of Isolation: Dealing or Not

Some people just deal better with isolation than others. As an introvert, my life really hasn’t changed much. I’m a stay-at-home mom without any really little kids in the house anymore (not counting my grandson). My youngest son is in 4th grade and doesn’t really need me to do anything for or with him. My other kids are teens.

Most of the time, I just sit at home and play on my laptop or crochet. Really, my life isn’t any different than before except that the kids are here all of the time. At least in the summer, they’re off hanging out with friends or playing outside.

So for me, I’m dealing fine with this stay inside order. I don’t want to go anywhere and deal with people anyway. But for others…

Well, my 19yo daughter decided last night that she just needed to shave her head. She went so far as to get the clippers out and everything. I tried to talk her out of it because you really shouldn’t do drastic things when your mental state isn’t all there (thanks to this isolation). When she left the room to tend to her son, I hid the clippers and refused to give them back. I told her there was a 24-hour waiting period before she could shave her head.

Eventually, she gave up, but came back as soon as she heard me get up this morning. It wasn’t a 24-hour wait, but she had over twelve hours to think about it, so I gave her the clippers.

And she did it. I did help her in the end because she didn’t even know how to use the clippers. I guess it turned out okay. She did it even shorter than her younger brother gets his done.


89055999_1302234629971001_3200610711310958592_o(taken March 10… I couldn’t find a recent one with her hair down, but it came to mid-back)



I tried to go slow with it, starting with a #8 guide then a 6. In the end, she wanted it really short and stopped at a #3 on top.

She’s super happy with it so far so I guess it worked out. I mean, I can’t say much because I cut all of my hair off a few years ago because I was just fed up with it. I stayed at #8 (1″) on top, though.

080914_park (115)(picture taken by my son when he was like 11)

I did really love it short, but my husband hated it so I only kept it that way a couple years.

New Addition

Finally got some cute pictures to post of the newest family addition.

Introducing Arrow Finnegan…


Born June 7 at 12:47am. 7lbs, 3oz; 19″ long.


His daddy just adores him. Totally wrapped around his little fingers (just like grampa but totally not gramma, not at all).


Mom did great. Eighteen-years-old, and she made it look easy. Started induction at 10pm on the 5th, got the epidural around noon on the 6th, started pushing at 11:10pm, and he was born an hour and a half later. She’s a great mom–I’m so proud of her.

We finally broke down and got me a new phone. I’ve had the same one since 2013, and it’s been mostly unusable for the last two years with most of the screen untouchable. But the camera worked, and with a little trouble, I could get the photos onto my laptop to use, but when I went to upload the pictures of the birth, I couldn’t do it. My DSLR camera broke last year as well, so I was in tears not being able to take pictures of the little guy.

So I got a new Galaxy 10e. The quality is amazing (better than my old phone and the DSLR which is 12 years old). Can’t wait to get more pictures of this sweet boy.

In Memory…

November 27 marks the 16th year celebrating my mom’s birthday without her. She would have been 68 this year. Miss you, Mom.


One of only a few pictures I have of my mom and oldest daughter, taken about a month before she died.

Throwback Thursday

Sisterly love, May 2006


Brenna (3) & Meagan (5)

They were so adorable and loved each other. What happened?

Throwback Thursday

First day of school 2008


Owen (1st), Meagan (3rd), Brenna (kindergarten), Nora (age 2)

They looked so adorable in their uniforms, but I’m glad they are out of that Catholic school.

Throwback Thursday

My oldest daughter, Meagan, shared this picture on Facebook of her and three of her siblings in 2010 with this comment:

currently my favorite picture of all time. i wish jack was old enough at the time to get in on this, its just so darn cute. me and my lifelong friends. so thankful that i get to live and grow with my best friends


August 2010–we had just moved to this house a week before after a five-day, cross-country trek. In the back: Brenna (7 1/2) and Meagan (10). In the front: Owen (8 1/2) and Nora (4). Jack was a month old.

And here’s the most recent pic I have of all five of them together at Owen’s 8th grade graduation in June.


From left to right: Nora (1o), Owen (14), Jack (almost 6), Meagan (almost 16) and Brenna (13).

Here’s what else Meagan had to say about her siblings:

ive been around these kiddos forever. no matter who walks in n out of my life, these fuckers are the ones who will always stick. i dont even want to think of us all starting our own lives and separating. its scary. ive lived with them my whole life, i hate to think one day i might have a hard time getting ahold of them because we let distance or time get in the way


This from a girl that has always said she hates being at home because there are too many people in the house and she can’t stand any of us. I guess she’s getting wise in her “old” age.

I look at the second picture and can hardly believe these are my kids. Three teenagers–two of them in high school in the fall. Am I old enough to have a sixteen-year-old? When I think about them, I still picture those little kids in the first picture.

Or like this:

February 2004

Brenna (15 months), Meagan (3 1/2) and Owen (2). So little.

Happy Halloween

Meagan as a nerd.

Owen as a zombie

Brenna as a zombie

Nora as a hippie (all clothes the girls own, I love that top)

Jack as Tigger (wearing the same costume the other 4 kids wore their first time out trick or treating)

The kids: Owen (10), Jack (15 months), Brenna (almost 9–next week) and Nora (5 1/2).¬† Meagan took off with her friends before I could get one of all 5 kids.

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