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Archive for the tag “web: red vs. blue”

Red vs Blue fic: Of Macaroni Art and Making Grown Men Cry


It’s Father’s Day, and Caboose has a plan. It goes about how you’d expect a Caboose plan to go, so Wash reluctantly comes to the rescue. Part of the retirement fluff series.
828 words | [PG]

Wash follows the smell of something burning into the kitchen. He takes in the scene—there is paper and markers and glitter strewn over the table, and a pot billowing thick black smoke. And in the middle of it all—Caboose and Junior.

“Caboose, what are you doing? You’re going to burn the entire base down.”

“Oh, it’s okay, Agent Washington. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, so it wouldn’t bother anyone.”

Wash stares. “That won’t stop-” He doesn’t bother to finish. Wash pulls the pot from the stove. He can’t tell what was even in it. “Were you hungry? You could have asked someone to make you guys lunch.” What does a Sangheili eat anyway?

“It’s Father’s Day!” Caboose says as if that explains anything.


Caboose rolls his eyes like Wash is being the unreasonable one. “It’s Father’s Day, and I’m helping Junior make something for Tucker. Even if he is stupid.” He mutters the last part under his breath before putting on another glowing smile. “We looked it up, and it said that kids make macaroni art for Father’s Day.”

Wash rubs a growing pain between his eyes. It’s typically how all of his conversations go with Caboose. “Caboose, you’re not supposed to cook the macaroni first.”

Junior lets out a string of honks and blarghs. Wash doesn’t need to understand the words to get the meaning—Junior already tried to tell him that. Read more…

Red vs Blue fic: Save the Last Dance for Me


York’s not sure what to think when Carolina puts his dancing lessons to use because she looks amazing twirling across the floor. And he’s not the only one noticing. A sequel to Shut Up and Dance.
695 words | [R]

York watched Carolina glide around the dance floor like she was born for it. Then again, dancing wasn’t much different than fighting. Just with less punching and broken bones. But did she have to dance so close to that Jamison guy? York tried to pretend the churning feeling in his gut was something other than jealousy. He was above that kind of juvenile thing. Right?

She sure looked like she was having fun. He didn’t really blame her. The guy could dance and had a lot of other things going for him—rich, suave, handsome. And not a complete disaster when he spoke to women. Things York wasn’t.

He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could watch. If she hadn’t gotten that key card by now she never was and if that guy’s hand goes any lower on her back, York was going to blow their cover anyway. Read more…

Attention to Detail – Chapter 6

Chapter 6

People started running. Tourists and medics, security and sicko gawkers all rushing for a better view of the aftermath. Church moved, too—elbowing and forcing his way between couples and families.

Look at me, Church! Up here!” The words bounced around his head followed by those memories that would always haunt him.

Daddy, look at my dress. It floats. Daddy, you’re not looking.”

He finds her after the longest most terrifying fifteen minutes of any of his lives because, for all of his faults and all the pain he’s caused, Dr. Leonard Church loves his daughter. Church feels it deep in his bones. He screams her name—not just the Director, but Alpha and Epsilon and every other goddamn voice in his head. They all scream the same thing. “Sarah! Sarah, where are you?”

But the name that came out of Church’s mouth was something else. “Caboose! Caboose!” They made it to the fence surrounding the ride. Medics were everywhere, sirens wailing closer and closer. Security pushed onlookers back. Church was stuck.

“That’s my friend,” he shouted at the nearest guard who only shrugged. If he had a gun, he’d blow the guy’s head off. Well, maybe Church wouldn’t, but Wash or Carolina could take the shot. Read more…

Attention to Detail – Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“What’s with all the sourpusses?” Sarge asked as the Reds joined Church and the others. “This is supposed to be the Happiest Place in the Galaxy.”

“That’s Disneyland, sir.”

“Oh, right.”

Tucker sighed. “Caboose is missing.”

“Again?” said Grif. “We need a leash for that guy.”

Simmons shot his friend a look. “Grif, that’s not-”

“Or Lojack.”

“We already installed that,” Tucker said. “In his armor.”

Sarge scoffed. “Well, that ain’t much help now. Maybe we could put one of those trackin’ chip things in him? Like you do a dog.”

“Yeah, that’d work,” Grif agreed. Read more…

Red vs Blue fic: Unfair Advantage

Watching Carolina spar on any day could leave a man breathless, speechless, and probably a little brain dead from the blood rushing out of his head to other parts of his body. But watching Carolina spar against Wyoming sans armor. That’s something else entirely.
798 words | R

York stood to the side of the training room with North and Wash watching Carolina finish her match with Wyoming. And by finish, I mean wipe the floor with him. She hit him with a one-two punch then flipped back, taking out his chin with her foot as she went. Wyoming staggered but didn’t go down.

“She’s got really good-” said Wash, voice trailing off as Carolina performed a perfect roundhouse kick, sending Wyoming spinning.

“Form?” North supplied for him. Wash nodded.

“Yeah,” York agreed. “She’s got really good-” His mind wandered as Carolina did some fancy spin move, catching Wyoming around the neck with her legs and flipping him over, landing on top of him.

“Form,” North repeated.

“Right, form.” Read more…

Attention to Detail – Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It seemed like forever before Church got the vomiting under control. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand then gulped water right from the tap, swishing it around his mouth before spitting it out. What he wouldn’t give for a toothbrush right now.

He’d forgotten about this side of having fun. He found that kind of ironic—what with being made of pure memory. He didn’t dwell on it. He did consider ditching this body for someone less pukey, but after splashing water on his face, he felt better. And switching would just confuse Caboose.

Church hurried back to where he last saw the gang—near an ice cream stand where Grif had been trying to convince Simmons that mixing all ten flavors was a sure cure for a hangover—but when he got there, the shop had closed. Fuck.

He scanned the mass of people, looking for a mop of black hair bobbing above the others. Or a glimpse of the turquoise sundress Carolina was wearing that was giving Church very confusing and uncomfortable feelings. He saw only strangers.

“Great,” he muttered. “They ditched me.” Read more…

Attention to Detail – Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The third warning probably should have been the fact that Church’s new body couldn’t hold its liquor. But Church was having too much fun to notice any ominous signs. It’d been a long time since he’d tasted food or felt the loosening effects of alcohol. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it until he was stuffing his face with nachos and staring lazily across the table at Carolina as they both knocked back their third shot of whiskey.

Carolina causally flipped her glass and set it on top of the other two. Church slammed his down, lost his balance, and nearly fell out of his chair. He was too drunk to care that his friends were laughing at him again.

Wash managed to set him back in his seat without injury. “I’d watch it, Church. Carolina has drank every Freelancer under the table at one time or another. Even Maine.”

“I don’t like to lose.”

Church hiccuped. “I can take her,” he slurred.

Wash patted his back. “Sure you can, buddy.” Read more…

Attention to Detail – Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had been a long time since Church possessed a live person with their required breathing and uncoordinated appendages. He immediately lost his balance and fell into a very well endowed woman standing next to him. Unfortunately, his hands landed on those endowments.

“Hey,” she squealed, getting the attention of her hulking giant of a boyfriend.

Before Church could attempt an apology, a fist was in his face, knocking him flat on his ass.

“Son of a bitch,” he yelled, grabbing his nose.

“Next time, keep your hands to yourself, asshole.” The brute gave him a kick in the side for good measure before the couple stomped off.

Caboose came running over. “Church? Church is that you?”

Church groaned and staggered to his feet. “Yeah, it’s me.” He carefully pulled his hands from his face, expecting a gush of blood, but there was only a trickle from one side. He wiped it away with the back of his hand then squeezed the bridge of his sore nose. Nothing felt broken at least. He had forgotten what this kind of pain felt like.

“Are you okay, Church?”

He finally noticed the worried expression on his friend’s way-too-young-to-be-caught-up-in-this-crap face for the first time. He sniffed until his nose cleared some then patted Caboose’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine. This guy’s going to have some serious shiners in the morning, though. Come on, let’s go find the others.” Read more…

Red vs Blue fic: Attention to Detail

After their last Eleventh Hour Hail Mary mission, Grif had plopped down right among the dying enemy soldiers and said he wasn’t moving until he got some leave. He wouldn’t even budge for Sarge’s shotgun.

“We’ve saved the galaxy enough times. I think we deserve a vacation.”

No one could come up with a logical rebuttal for that so they headed to the nearest resort planet.


Epsilon and the gang take a vacation, and it goes about as well as you’d expect.

rating: R for language 

attention (n): consideration, notice, or observation | detail (n): a part considered or requiring to be considered separately from the whole

Chapter 1

“Blackwater is a neutral planet,” Simmons read from an advertisement as they skimmed over a midnight ocean, heading to the biggest space dock on the southern continent—a tourist hot-spot apparently. He continued to read off a long list of rules and regulations for visiting Blackwater while Church and Caboose watched their clunky approach out a side window.

“Why do you think they call it Blackwater?” Caboose asked, thoughtfully. “Do you think it’s because the water is black? Or do you think the water is black because the planet is called Blackwater?”

“That doesn’t even make sense, dumbass,” Tucker said from Caboose’s other side. “Why would the water change color to black just because the name of the planet has ‘black’ in it?”

Church reached around behind Caboose and smacked Tucker upside the head.

“According to the brochure,” said Wash, strolling over to join them (or maybe just trying to be closer to the emergency exit as they neared the dock), “the water on this planet appears black on the surface because of a mineral in the soil.”

Caboose mulled this over for a moment. “Neat.”

They bumped and bobbled along as Grif struggled to maintain altitude and pitch on his first landing approach. It usually took two or three tries if they didn’t want to crash and burn on impact, but they glided in, only slamming slightly into the docking bay before easily coming to a stop on the first attempt.

“Ha!” Grif shouted from the cockpit. “Nailed it.” Read more…

Red vs Blue fic: Left Behind


607 words | [PG-13]
Carolina and Tex get left behind after a mission gone wrong.

They never come back from their last mission.

North and South. Maine and Wash. Connie and York.

Just gone.

Now the last search team is missing. Florida and Wyoming went out two days ago. They should have been back by now.

Carolina paces the length of the landing bay, biting her nails—a nervous habit she thought she kicked in high school. The rest of the crew is on edge and give her a wide berth, but she hears them murmuring about it. Them. Her. All of it. She wants to scream at them but bites her tongue.

The door to the landing bay flies open, startling her just as the klaxons start blaring, red lights flashing. Tex looks around, spotting her. “They’re coming in hot,” she shouts. Read more…

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